whome's OF 5.75G journal

[whome]

you have a lot of options for how to use it

My next ketamine treatment is in a week, next Thursday. My current plan is to put OF on pause until then, so I can go into the treatment with a clear head and avoid what happened last time. (I’m also curious how long it takes for the exhaustion from the resistance to clear.)

Following that treatment, I plan to pick up OF in masked format. I see two ways forward with OF: either as powerful as I can to get my subconscious to yield, or less powerfully to try to avoid triggering resistance. The former has been brutal and not fun, and by trying to push through the exhaustion, there’s a streak of self-hatred and self-punishment that I’m feeding. Therefore, I’m going to try the latter, in the hopes that it won’t be as hard of a battle.