07-03-2020, 01:48 AM
Day 33 (5)
I fell physically like crap, so I'm pretty much useless and I might as well post an update
So, my ex wrote to me yesterday. I've seen that my friend was meeting with her and preemptively I wrote to him that if she's asking about me tell her I'm dead. He must have told her that, never the master of subtlety.
Anyhow she wrote how she apologizes and she's not asking for forgiveness. I had a couple of options. I could apologize her too and forgive her, but I don't wanna do that. I don't think she deserves forgiveness and I don't wanna invite her into my life again. She's done enough damage and I'm the goo way of making things right for myself, finally. I could destroy her, tell her words which would resonate till her deathbed. I don't wanna do that as I'd feel satisfaction for a day or two, but after that I'd feel guilty.
So I chose silence. I will show my disdain towards her by posting simply "seen" under her message. I wouldn't be able to do that in the past, then I wanted to always have the last word. Now I don't need such satisfaction. All I want is peace and clean conscious.
I fell physically like crap, so I'm pretty much useless and I might as well post an update
So, my ex wrote to me yesterday. I've seen that my friend was meeting with her and preemptively I wrote to him that if she's asking about me tell her I'm dead. He must have told her that, never the master of subtlety.
Anyhow she wrote how she apologizes and she's not asking for forgiveness. I had a couple of options. I could apologize her too and forgive her, but I don't wanna do that. I don't think she deserves forgiveness and I don't wanna invite her into my life again. She's done enough damage and I'm the goo way of making things right for myself, finally. I could destroy her, tell her words which would resonate till her deathbed. I don't wanna do that as I'd feel satisfaction for a day or two, but after that I'd feel guilty.
So I chose silence. I will show my disdain towards her by posting simply "seen" under her message. I wouldn't be able to do that in the past, then I wanted to always have the last word. Now I don't need such satisfaction. All I want is peace and clean conscious.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
