06-27-2020, 10:25 AM
Day 27 (1)
I've taken a good look at myself in the mirror today and damn, my abs are starting to really get shape! Without any exaggeration I look the best I've ever did. This is huge morale boost and I love it!
What I don't love is my mother's behavior right now. She's just... I can understand grief, but she's so full of victim mentality right now. She's wearing her widowhood with pride and makes it as her mantle. No will to change anything in her life, no self-realization, nothing. And not a single thought of taking responsibility for herself and her happiness beyond what she was used to when my dad was still alive.
I don't want to be too harsh on her. I don't wanna pretend I can teach her lessons in days which took me years to learn. But damn, if not for the fact that we are blessed with good enough life that there is no need for her to take this responsibility she'd be in deep crap right now.
For example she cries how lonesome she feels, but she won't join any club, won't go get some friends. She complains how bored she is but she won't get any hobby because... well, no. I tell her to start reading books again, when she was young she'd read Homer all other stuff. Now she says she's too old. Too old to read.
I hate her excuses and her bullshit. I get she deals much worse with the death of my dad than I did but it's been over a year already, do something with your life woman!
I've taken a good look at myself in the mirror today and damn, my abs are starting to really get shape! Without any exaggeration I look the best I've ever did. This is huge morale boost and I love it!
What I don't love is my mother's behavior right now. She's just... I can understand grief, but she's so full of victim mentality right now. She's wearing her widowhood with pride and makes it as her mantle. No will to change anything in her life, no self-realization, nothing. And not a single thought of taking responsibility for herself and her happiness beyond what she was used to when my dad was still alive.
I don't want to be too harsh on her. I don't wanna pretend I can teach her lessons in days which took me years to learn. But damn, if not for the fact that we are blessed with good enough life that there is no need for her to take this responsibility she'd be in deep crap right now.
For example she cries how lonesome she feels, but she won't join any club, won't go get some friends. She complains how bored she is but she won't get any hobby because... well, no. I tell her to start reading books again, when she was young she'd read Homer all other stuff. Now she says she's too old. Too old to read.
I hate her excuses and her bullshit. I get she deals much worse with the death of my dad than I did but it's been over a year already, do something with your life woman!
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
