06-23-2020, 01:45 AM
Day 23 (3)
I find myself struggling with NoFap, what was before a matter of simply not eating a cake now is a matter of not eating it while it's sweet smell if all you can think about. All the more reason to break the habit.
The worst thing, come to think of it, is that it might not be enough, experience of the past few days proves to me that this is more like a addiction than a habit after all. Which is funny as I can drink with my friends and I don't have the slightest craving to starting drinking myself to sleep every night. But one night of masturbation and all the mental framework goes to crap, this is dangerous.
Interestingly, I started to find lean girl more and more attractive. It's funny how you tend to be attracted to people similar to you, but at the same time you seem to be attracted to those who's feature traits that you feel like you lack in yourself - kind of trying to complete yourself with them. It's complicated I guess. Still, it wasn't like I like land whales before, but where before a little bit of fat wouldn't be a problem for me, now I look at it with a pitch of disdain.
Oh, BTW, my weight really seems to go down again, I apparently really am doing something right. If I keep up with it that would mean I'd have lost 10 kg in half a year with possibly another 5-10 kg by the end of the year. In order to reach my goals from January I'd need to lose 5 more kg, but looking at my belly right now I think this might be not enough, maybe I overestimated my muscle growth. So, now I'm from 80 to about 71kg and I might need to go down to 63 or so. Thankfully summer is the easiest time to burn fat, lots of free time as work goes slowly at my profession and I due to coronavirus I will not be distracted with trips anywhere up until September. I'm really optimistic about that!
I find myself struggling with NoFap, what was before a matter of simply not eating a cake now is a matter of not eating it while it's sweet smell if all you can think about. All the more reason to break the habit.
The worst thing, come to think of it, is that it might not be enough, experience of the past few days proves to me that this is more like a addiction than a habit after all. Which is funny as I can drink with my friends and I don't have the slightest craving to starting drinking myself to sleep every night. But one night of masturbation and all the mental framework goes to crap, this is dangerous.
Interestingly, I started to find lean girl more and more attractive. It's funny how you tend to be attracted to people similar to you, but at the same time you seem to be attracted to those who's feature traits that you feel like you lack in yourself - kind of trying to complete yourself with them. It's complicated I guess. Still, it wasn't like I like land whales before, but where before a little bit of fat wouldn't be a problem for me, now I look at it with a pitch of disdain.
Oh, BTW, my weight really seems to go down again, I apparently really am doing something right. If I keep up with it that would mean I'd have lost 10 kg in half a year with possibly another 5-10 kg by the end of the year. In order to reach my goals from January I'd need to lose 5 more kg, but looking at my belly right now I think this might be not enough, maybe I overestimated my muscle growth. So, now I'm from 80 to about 71kg and I might need to go down to 63 or so. Thankfully summer is the easiest time to burn fat, lots of free time as work goes slowly at my profession and I due to coronavirus I will not be distracted with trips anywhere up until September. I'm really optimistic about that!
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
