EP UMS Journal pt. 2

[Zubrowka]

Final day of carpetbombing (day 7) --

I'm not sure about current progress. Not really thinking about money tbh. I am obsessed with getting a waiver to join the United States Marine Corps.

It ain't related to UMS I determined.

UMS motivates you to achieve wealth via non harmful means to others. This would involve combat.

But I think UMS still played a role by eliminating "I can't do it" talk.


I thought I had settled this notion of wanting to join the military. I decided against it primarily because I felt I couldn't hack it. I think UMS eliminating self limiting beliefs is causing me to want to join, against all arguments against it. A feeling of "No mattet how bad my situation looks I can do it. I just need to play my cards right" If I am going to do this, it will be imperative I play it slick,  excell at everything, win people over and make myself utterly indespensible. An INSANELY tall order for what it will take. It will take pushing myself to the absolute limit. It takes going all the way. "Go big or go home" is a very literal statement for me on this. And I don't intend to go home once I leave it for the Corps.

As for achieving UMS...

I dunno what's the deal on that, but you know... patience.

I have had the urge to join the military in the past, but I don’t have the same “need” to do it anymore. Then it felt like the only way for me to become part of something and prove my value. A simple way out if you may. Looking back to what was creating this drive was a lack of a feeling of self-worth, I thought that joining the military and “making it through” would give me that. But now, just a couple of months later, I have found that feeling is inside of me already, I don’t have to “go through” anything to make it appear - other than doing some work on myself and getting in touch with my emotions.

I don’t know if that is the case for you, maybe you just want to try it out to test your ability, then go ahead - but your near draconian Way of reasoning around it that “you must excel perfectly” is telling me otherwise - that you maybe are trying to make it into filling a void inside of you rather than testing out your limits.

The only person you need to convince of your own worth is yourself.