Mystic Life - LTU 5

[Mystic Pymp]

I decided I will put on hold my weight loss efforts for this month. Why?

Because my working out habits are not compatible with my remote work. It was going extremely well when I was going to work for a couple of hours, did my job, went back home and started working out. On days off I'd spend most of the day working out and relaxing. But now that I'm at home all the time it seems to me like every day is off day.

Let me paint you a picture. Let's say there is this baseline, my 100% of work, my "what I have to do being done". This Autumn I was at 200%, this winter at 150%. Right now I'm at 30%, maybe 50% at best. I'm way behind on what I'm supposed to do but I leave it be as there is to deadline for it. I still do necessities very well, but if something can be postponed it is postponed even if it shouldn't.

It's not that I'd get fired now for it, at least not if I don't keep it up for the next weeks. But damn do I feel guilty for behaving like that. I'll be honest, job can make you anxious sometimes and this whole pandemic situation is hard on its own. And when you go to work physically you deal with anxiety by simply forcing it - what I am supposed to do if not working, right? But at home I deal with anxiety by exercising now and for the past 2 weeks I've been using exercise as an excuse not to work. I mean come on, I can postpone and I'm being useful!

I need to change my thinking framework about my time at home and rather sooner than later. So, as of now, my weight loss efforts are secondary. I will stop worrying about my push-up quotas and eating little. It doesn't mean this is not important, it means it's secondary. Assuming I'll be able to completely manage my time for the next weeks I want to spend 4 days on work and 3 days on relax/working out per week (probably weekends and Wednesdays?).

And don't get me started on Easter, this one will surely throw a wrench into any of my plans. I'll have to go to my mom's. I have no room to work out there and I'm terrible at disciplining myself to work from them.

Also, on a larger picture, I'm ahead of my weight loss quota, I'll have most probably more this this spring and summer to work out and I'll be postponing my dating adventures so I don't need to loose weight at pace as fast as I did this Winter.

Also at least I'm safe financially. Unless something catastrophic happens my job is safe for the next 1.5 years and my mom is mostly safe too, both of us have also significant savings if something bad happens. If civilization breaks I'm dead in a month anyway, so I don't worry about total collapse, I won't survive if it comes to that

Still, what I'm writing here is about my work ethics and me simply feeling guilty for doing shitty job. This is why I'm making this decision. Come May I will probably revise it and think about developing new habits to deal with this situation as who knows how long it will last.