03-06-2020, 06:52 AM
Day 66
Going back from my work today I got reminded how awesome Rise Against's album Endgame. I mean come on, half of the songs on this album is in my top 10. Endgame, Gentleman's coup, Survivor's Guilt, Midnight Hands. And also Make It Stop.
That one hit hard after not hearing it for a year or so. Why? Because it's a song about suicide and ultimately getting out of the shell and proving the world that they were wrong and life is worth living. And on Wednesday my work colleague's wife committed suicide. She was 25.
I don't know, I feel like there is too much death in my life these days. I've known her, I've seen her with him on a couple of occasions. Apparently we went to the same high school but I don't remember her from that time.
There was this post on her facebook that now makes it obvious but at that time I thought nothing of it. I didn't know she was suicidal. They didn't want to share it and that's fair enough. I don't think it's a good idea, I have a couple of friends that used to be suicidal and saying out loud they had problems made it easier, more acceptable. But everyone is different so I don't judge.
What makes it harder is that I'm the only person from my work who knows how she died. I wasn't told either but I talked with my friend's sister and she... heavily implied it was the case. Add to that the post and surprisingly long waiting time for the funeral and the reason becomes obvious. I don't wanna tell them that, I think it's my colleague's will if they know or not. At any rate I'd wish I didn't know.
Oh, and tomorrow will be 1 year since my dad died. Try to be optimistic these days.
On the bright side though I broke new weight record after my morning toilet. Yoopee!
Going back from my work today I got reminded how awesome Rise Against's album Endgame. I mean come on, half of the songs on this album is in my top 10. Endgame, Gentleman's coup, Survivor's Guilt, Midnight Hands. And also Make It Stop.
That one hit hard after not hearing it for a year or so. Why? Because it's a song about suicide and ultimately getting out of the shell and proving the world that they were wrong and life is worth living. And on Wednesday my work colleague's wife committed suicide. She was 25.
I don't know, I feel like there is too much death in my life these days. I've known her, I've seen her with him on a couple of occasions. Apparently we went to the same high school but I don't remember her from that time.
There was this post on her facebook that now makes it obvious but at that time I thought nothing of it. I didn't know she was suicidal. They didn't want to share it and that's fair enough. I don't think it's a good idea, I have a couple of friends that used to be suicidal and saying out loud they had problems made it easier, more acceptable. But everyone is different so I don't judge.
What makes it harder is that I'm the only person from my work who knows how she died. I wasn't told either but I talked with my friend's sister and she... heavily implied it was the case. Add to that the post and surprisingly long waiting time for the funeral and the reason becomes obvious. I don't wanna tell them that, I think it's my colleague's will if they know or not. At any rate I'd wish I didn't know.
Oh, and tomorrow will be 1 year since my dad died. Try to be optimistic these days.
On the bright side though I broke new weight record after my morning toilet. Yoopee!
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
