02-11-2020, 12:27 AM
Lolz, slept for 14 hours (but I needed it) and upon waking up, had a return of those frustrations. Gonna talk to that dude tomorrow, as we're meeting to work on shite, and I'm going to tell him to stop trying to teach me "technique", lol. If he takes issue, then it's bye-bye.
The above, since it's so persistent, is related to a general issue of my subC. Something definitely is going on. It's like this part of me that's really dependent/has been trained up to be dependent upon the advice and opinions and others is in the process of slowly deciding that it's a bad idea, lol. Feels like some sort of "narcissitic death of the subject" is imminent.
Hopefully this will happen sooner rather than later, as it's frustrating to the maxxxx.
The above, since it's so persistent, is related to a general issue of my subC. Something definitely is going on. It's like this part of me that's really dependent/has been trained up to be dependent upon the advice and opinions and others is in the process of slowly deciding that it's a bad idea, lol. Feels like some sort of "narcissitic death of the subject" is imminent.
Hopefully this will happen sooner rather than later, as it's frustrating to the maxxxx.
"A man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him." - A. Crowley
