Greenduck's LTU5 journal

[Greenduck]

I’ve had a break from LTU for a couple of weeks. Started playing it yesterday. The depression and anxiety have been hitting me seriously today, one of the worst to be honest.

I know how that feels, at least how it feels for me. I had that mostly with AM. But this is a very important period in my opinion. You have certain beliefs about yourself, your environment, the world and how life works. I would go as far as "you identify yourself to a certain level with these beliefs". It is good and bad. The good thing is, you believe in something, you will fight for that believes. The bad thing, all the believes can be wrong and your ego/sub-conscious/whateveryoucallit will try to hold up all the beliefs even if they are wrong.
So in my opinion this depressive phase is the resistance, the fight for the old beliefs. Only after you give up your beliefs and allow yourself to "be wrong" and openminded, then the real change will happen. I see a lot of guy here wanting to be somebody else while they completely hold on to their current identity. That will not work.

Now how can you give up your wrong beliefs consciously, how can you support the process of the subliminal? I would say "just have faith that everything will be alright" and focus on other things while being open for new opportunities and new routines in your life. I think that is what Shannon calls "listen to the sub, but forget that it's playing". If you look all the time for evidence, then you just get reminded of the past situation or maybe sometimes glimpses in the new identity. But with being looking too much for evidence you might kill the progress.

I think that what you write is relevant. First, i definitely hold onto viewing things by tooth and nail, things that are established that I feel fear of letting go of it, because I don't know what will be on the other side. And being in the state of discovering new paradigms is coupled with walking on new ground and that feel shaky. But I'm doing it, little by little, discovering new frontiers, staying in the state of uncertainty as much as I can bear. And sometimes I get too ambitious, pushing myself too far, instead of putting trust into that I'm progressing, which I can see by comparing my situation 1 year ago, 6 months ago or just 1 month ago - relaxing and trusting, just as you put it, that with time things will eventually give way for a new way of being.