01-12-2020, 01:27 PM
Lots of internal stuffies and thingies going on.
F. in. today I realized that I'm totally done working in the environment I have been working these past several years, as it's unhealthy and derp, and I also realized I've been sticking around it mostly due to having this deeply embedded need to "prove myself worthy" to people who are constantly trying to belittle me or show me how unworthy I am, as well as try to control me. Frankly, it's pretty stupid. Because of that, I've been procrastinating on going "my way", as Frank Sinatra used to sing, lol, in order "to show them", lol.
I mean, my fighting spirit is all well and good, but there's a point where it's just a waste of energy. I mean, what would the prize be here, exactly?
So I'm going "my way" even more-so than before. Sure, I'll probably stick around for potato and such until I don't require this particular source of income, but internally, I'm done with these bozos and the entire local singing class. They can all go fuck a duck or something as far as I am concerned.
I mean, I may even very well "show them", but that's only going to serve to make these types of people more salty, lol. I'm even noticing some types that I would never suspect of being so showing their true colors, lol (I believe it's owing to the DRS. It reflects shite back, and thus "keeps people honest", heheheh).
Apart from that, on the DMSI + DRS front: I've had that lovely girl around for three days, pretty much 24/7. I've been observing her reactions (and flirting with her
) on the different versions of DMSI for a year-and-a-half, give or take. Now, what I have noticed is that she was acting a bit salty/testy for some time there, with moments of fun and connection sprinkled every now and again there. Then, after all three days of being around me, her behavior started visibly changing - it's like she became a different person, in a way - but not in a *bad way* (she also kept getting progressively more huggy as time went on). At the end of it, as we were finishing up the tour, and there was no one around to overhear, she said "well, so this is me with all masks off". So that's why she was trying to resist!
I like her with all masks off, heheheh. She's like sweet naughty girl, who also really enjoys teasing people for fun and profit (she also has a bit of a "praise and adore me!" situation going on, but, well, she is a singer, lol. I've seen worse.).
We'll see how this turns out in the end. Not "an easy lay" by any stretch, seeing as as far as I know, she comes from a very "proper and Catholic" background.
F. in. today I realized that I'm totally done working in the environment I have been working these past several years, as it's unhealthy and derp, and I also realized I've been sticking around it mostly due to having this deeply embedded need to "prove myself worthy" to people who are constantly trying to belittle me or show me how unworthy I am, as well as try to control me. Frankly, it's pretty stupid. Because of that, I've been procrastinating on going "my way", as Frank Sinatra used to sing, lol, in order "to show them", lol.
I mean, my fighting spirit is all well and good, but there's a point where it's just a waste of energy. I mean, what would the prize be here, exactly?
So I'm going "my way" even more-so than before. Sure, I'll probably stick around for potato and such until I don't require this particular source of income, but internally, I'm done with these bozos and the entire local singing class.
They can all go fuck a duck or something as far as I am concerned.I mean, I may even very well "show them", but that's only going to serve to make these types of people more salty, lol. I'm even noticing some types that I would never suspect of being so showing their true colors, lol (I believe it's owing to the DRS. It reflects shite back, and thus "keeps people honest", heheheh).
Apart from that, on the DMSI + DRS front: I've had that lovely girl around for three days, pretty much 24/7. I've been observing her reactions (and flirting with her
) on the different versions of DMSI for a year-and-a-half, give or take. Now, what I have noticed is that she was acting a bit salty/testy for some time there, with moments of fun and connection sprinkled every now and again there. Then, after all three days of being around me, her behavior started visibly changing - it's like she became a different person, in a way - but not in a *bad way* (she also kept getting progressively more huggy as time went on). At the end of it, as we were finishing up the tour, and there was no one around to overhear, she said "well, so this is me with all masks off". So that's why she was trying to resist!I like her with all masks off, heheheh. She's like sweet naughty girl, who also really enjoys teasing people for fun and profit (she also has a bit of a "praise and adore me!" situation going on, but, well, she is a singer, lol. I've seen worse.).
We'll see how this turns out in the end. Not "an easy lay" by any stretch, seeing as as far as I know, she comes from a very "proper and Catholic" background.
"A man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him." - A. Crowley
