11-15-2019, 07:17 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-15-2019, 07:40 AM by Have at ye.)
I won't lie. It's not good. The effect of that "afterschool special" is that I now know 100% that this woman is extremely dangerous and intends vengeance for... something. Maybe because I suspected her of gaming and shit-tested. Or maybe because she expressed her interest in me very publicly and I did not come running like crazy, but took some time to think it through (apparently, she told her BFF I "abused her" thus). Turns out, it's not her BFF that's the driving force behind what they're doing - that girl is tricking her BFF into going after me, using all of her orbiters to slander me preemptively "what a bad man I am" and how I want to get back at her by dating/fucking other women so that she can see it.
I got a slight panic attack after learning this before rehearsal (or rather - during rehearsal) today - it's going to look like I'm "crazy" about her (which was the intended purpose) after she "let me down easy" (by ignoring my polite request to meet, giving her time to think it through etc.). I do not care - not the first time shit like that happened regarding a woman I refused to pursue at that conservatory, so that I don't mind really; this usually airs itself out in a matter of months or something (besides, other women who are not blind/stupid can see right through such shenanigans).
But for some reason, I am really, really fucking scared right now, totally paranoid, and I feel absolutely powerless and helpless.
Because nobody's ever fucking going to believe me. I even started doubting my own perception of reality today. Fuuuuuuck.
Hopefully, here's to a better tomorrow. I am not going to be attending that conservatory in the nearest future anyway, perhaps only when I have business there.
I got a slight panic attack after learning this before rehearsal (or rather - during rehearsal) today - it's going to look like I'm "crazy" about her (which was the intended purpose) after she "let me down easy" (by ignoring my polite request to meet, giving her time to think it through etc.). I do not care - not the first time shit like that happened regarding a woman I refused to pursue at that conservatory, so that I don't mind really; this usually airs itself out in a matter of months or something (besides, other women who are not blind/stupid can see right through such shenanigans).
But for some reason, I am really, really fucking scared right now, totally paranoid, and I feel absolutely powerless and helpless.
Because nobody's ever fucking going to believe me. I even started doubting my own perception of reality today. Fuuuuuuck.
Hopefully, here's to a better tomorrow. I am not going to be attending that conservatory in the nearest future anyway, perhaps only when I have business there.
"A man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him." - A. Crowley
