11-13-2019, 07:28 AM
(This post was last modified: 11-13-2019, 07:36 AM by Have at ye.)
Still feeling better, though not quite there yet - my sleep was very disturbed last night; but judging from my dreams, there's quite a bit of weird fears that are going on underneath it all (f. in. apparently I'm scared of someone actively stalking me and plotting to fuck up my life; I had a dream that involved this forum, lol, it appeared that in that dream, I was chatting on these forums with some female, and then it turned out it was some girl I was meeting with IRL who was using whatever I've written here, opening up and such, against me. This would, I believe, be directly related to my fear of vulnerability). My heart was acting up again with dark sensations and such as well, and is still doing so from time to time.
Also, I'm feeling paranoid because of all this (again; *not* the first situation like this in my life)
I still feel very stupid that I allowed myself to get owned by a woman emotionally even for, like, three days, but badly enough that I actually missed bardic practice today due to disturbed sleep. I also feel like I need to apologize to myself for being dumb enough to put myself through something like this again, for really, really stupid reasons.
Also, I'm feeling paranoid because of all this (again; *not* the first situation like this in my life)
I still feel very stupid that I allowed myself to get owned by a woman emotionally even for, like, three days, but badly enough that I actually missed bardic practice today due to disturbed sleep. I also feel like I need to apologize to myself for being dumb enough to put myself through something like this again, for really, really stupid reasons.
"A man who is doing his True Will has the inertia of the Universe to assist him." - A. Crowley
