11-04-2019, 12:06 PM
thank you guys for the feedback,
I am looking into the causes, where have I failed when I was young and that fear might be carried over.
as I was thinking about this, 1 thing popped into my mind.
when I was in the 8th year of primary education I had to do a presentation and was about 12 years old.
it was a new class as I had just moved to that city, and I was so scared that I became physically sick, had to throw up and failed completely.
it might not be the cause but it came up when I thought about where I might be coming from.
the second thing that came up was, that i was humiliated in music class (13/14 years old) as we had to do a performance or something and i botched it, didn't learn anything and got a bad grade.
third and probably the largest reason is that because I have the Label: ADHD inattentive type and I also have the symptoms, and I only found out about this when i was 18, I thought for a long long time that I am lazy(and still think so a little bit) because I found it hard to finish stuff, concentrate and start new projects.
this reinforced the idea time and time again, that I just can not do it, that I am lazy, that I am unmotivated, that I am unfocused, a dreamer, that I am stupid for not being able to do stuff that the rest is, like learning the times tables...
ION I stopped my loops, did about 5 or 6 days of 6 loops per day.
I am looking into the causes, where have I failed when I was young and that fear might be carried over.
as I was thinking about this, 1 thing popped into my mind.
when I was in the 8th year of primary education I had to do a presentation and was about 12 years old.
it was a new class as I had just moved to that city, and I was so scared that I became physically sick, had to throw up and failed completely.
it might not be the cause but it came up when I thought about where I might be coming from.
the second thing that came up was, that i was humiliated in music class (13/14 years old) as we had to do a performance or something and i botched it, didn't learn anything and got a bad grade.
third and probably the largest reason is that because I have the Label: ADHD inattentive type and I also have the symptoms, and I only found out about this when i was 18, I thought for a long long time that I am lazy(and still think so a little bit) because I found it hard to finish stuff, concentrate and start new projects.
this reinforced the idea time and time again, that I just can not do it, that I am lazy, that I am unmotivated, that I am unfocused, a dreamer, that I am stupid for not being able to do stuff that the rest is, like learning the times tables...
ION I stopped my loops, did about 5 or 6 days of 6 loops per day.
