OF: Breaking the wall of fear.

[Griffin]

Staring tonight I am running OF.
I took a break for about a month from UMS and will run OF until UMS comes out. Or if my success is so high with OF that I might run it for the complete 8 months.

The primary fears I want to deal with is.
Social anxiety(is not really high but I notice it sometimes)
Fear of success & Fear of failure (I am not sure which of these is effecting me but it I do notice it with my youtube channel and coaching)
Fear of missing out ( I notice I have this in certain aspects like this forum and youtube)

Right now those are the fears I consciously notice, but I will update when I know of any other fears.

I feel irritated today, this might be because of the heat and stuff I have to do, I just moved and there are quite a lot of things left to do.

Cheers

Griffin.

[Griffin]

Day 1:
Very tired right now.
I play loops during sleep, but I didn't sleep very well.
I usually have this when I start a sub. So I hope it will get better over time.
I notice a little difference but it is hard to put my finger on what exactly.

[Griffin]

Day 2:
Felt less tired today, and slept better.
At around 5 pm I got tired again.
I noticed some social anxiety today when I was at work.
Not really knowing what to say at times.
I also notice 1 girl being into me, she is nice but not that good looking.
not sure what I want to do about it yet.

I feel some fear about starting my videos again as I took a break from them because I was busy.
overall I feel quite calm though.

I know that I have a bad insight into myself. where I don't always know what is changing until its absolutely obvious.
I am not that self-aware I guess. When I read some people's journals I am amazed at how much they notice.

Maybe that is also a reason my journals never really lead somewhere and usually die out.

[Griffin]

Day 4:
I feel quite chill right now but I do notice a fear of the future..
Where I am not sure I am even going to be able to do what I want(travel and see the world)
The only thing holding me back Is money.
And ofcourse covid as I can't get Visas right now.
But the money is where the fear comes in.
Will I ever make enough money?
It's an irrational fear as i only need about 1200 euros/dollars per month.
I wonder where this fear comes from.
My father is well off and has a passive income of 4000 euros.
And money was never an issue.
So I don't think I got it from there.
My mother is a little more on the saving money side.
But saving money isn't necessarily a bad thing.
So if I didn't get it from my parents I cannot imagine where I got it from.
Anyhow, it's been long enough of having this fear so hopefully it will work on it.
Being on UMS for 8+ months didn't erase this fear yet, so let's see what frm 4.9 can do.
I also notice a fear of starting work again on my youtube channel.
I will see if I have enough time to start a little today again.

Tiredness is not here right now but I slept for 10 hours.

Cheers.

[tolgaocal80]

money issue may be related to other thing, even if your parents don't have financial issues, it could be everything like fear of failure, fear of succes , critism fear etc.

If you feeling any anger towards a rich person, this may be transform into hate of money eventually, if you hate something ,probably thats because of you afraid of it. I realized this within me for a situation.

[Griffin]

had an interesting dream last night. i was in prison and i tried to break out, this eventually worked, by going through the sewers, then I was racing in canals and trying to flee.
When i finally decided to go on land and out of the water, I was naked and it was cold. of course, if people saw me naked this would be bad and be suspicious., but i found a whole bunch of clothes right when i went out of the water.
there was a pajama pant, very good socks, multiple T-shirts, so I got the best one. but it was cold or freezing and I needed a jacket, after looking around I found a jacket that was amazing and fit me incredibly well, I even remember saying this is the best jacket I have ever had.
after all that I remember getting hungry and eating frogs for some reason, they were supposed to be very nutritious in my dream haha. then I woke up.
i usually don't really know what dreams symbolize but this one was quite obvious to me!
and I knew that before I would forget it, I should write it down here.

Time for coffee now, cheers.

[Griffin]

I am really interested in the improve your eyesight!
I have glasses with -1.5 and -1.75 and astigmatism.
So not that bad, but bad enough so I need glasses.
I do not like wearing glasses, and look better without it.
Also i have been on OF since the beginning, 155 days now
And have not seen much improvement or big changes.
So i am quite tempted.
If it works it will also restore my complete faith in Shannons subliminals.
I had good succeses with some subs like ASC and DMSI but little succes with Umop, UMS and OF.
So a subliminal were there will be absolutly no doubt if it works or not will resotre my absolute confidence.
Dont get me wrong i have confidence in Shannon, but its been a hit and miss for for a few subs, but i have never asked for a refund because i think it always did something and support shannons work 100%!
I am now torn between using improve your eyesight until UMs, which will probably be about 3 months or using OF for the full 8 months, which is also 3 months left.
Maybe having my eyes restored and having proof Shannons subliminals work, will aid in exucution in UMS
Or 8 months of OF will help exucution of UMS even better.
Anyway i have some contemplating to do
Advice is welcomed ofcourse

Cheers!

So I made a choice to keep running OF instead of Improving my eyesight.
Although I would love to throw away my glasses forever, I'd rather get rid of my fear forever.
I will probably run the 6g version of improving eyesight when it comes out.
However, I hope someone who will use improve eyesight will journal on it.
I would really like to see how fast this works and this will probably be valuable information for Shannon to have.

Cheers!