11-03-2019, 08:52 AM
Day 37 (day 2 off)
Back to waking exhausted. Sigh. My emotions are slowly ratcheting back to grief, and I’m not happy about that.
Last night I was invited to a singing group’s concert, and the guy organizing it said that afterwards he was trying to get a bunch of singers together to chat. I’m trying to find a group, and liked the idea, so I went there. The concert was great, but since the venue for the concert had a second thing going on, everyone slowly ended up at a different bar.
I did not do as well as I would have liked. The bar was noisy with music playing very loudly. It was full of people and my anxiety was pretty high. I wasn’t sure who was there because of the singing group, but I finally managed to ask one girl who I saw had arrived at about the same time as me. She was there to support one of the singers but wasn’t a singer herself. I had a short conversation.
I then briefly talked to the guy in the group who’d invited me, but while he liked the idea of making connections, he didn’t know exactly who there were singers. And so after about an hour I left having talked to three people, not having found who I was looking for, and feeling burnt out and just wanting to go home, which is what I did.
I dunno if anxiety in social situations is covered by DMSI or if it’s more of an LTU thing (probably the latter) but I’m vaguely disappointed in last night. It doesn’t seem like anything is getting better.
Back to waking exhausted. Sigh. My emotions are slowly ratcheting back to grief, and I’m not happy about that.
Last night I was invited to a singing group’s concert, and the guy organizing it said that afterwards he was trying to get a bunch of singers together to chat. I’m trying to find a group, and liked the idea, so I went there. The concert was great, but since the venue for the concert had a second thing going on, everyone slowly ended up at a different bar.
I did not do as well as I would have liked. The bar was noisy with music playing very loudly. It was full of people and my anxiety was pretty high. I wasn’t sure who was there because of the singing group, but I finally managed to ask one girl who I saw had arrived at about the same time as me. She was there to support one of the singers but wasn’t a singer herself. I had a short conversation.
I then briefly talked to the guy in the group who’d invited me, but while he liked the idea of making connections, he didn’t know exactly who there were singers. And so after about an hour I left having talked to three people, not having found who I was looking for, and feeling burnt out and just wanting to go home, which is what I did.
I dunno if anxiety in social situations is covered by DMSI or if it’s more of an LTU thing (probably the latter) but I’m vaguely disappointed in last night. It doesn’t seem like anything is getting better.
I share the details of my life in my posts to help in the understanding of the effects of the subliminals I use. I am only open to advice that relates to the use of the subliminals.
