EP UMS JOURNAL

[EvolvingPhoenix]

I don't know if this has already been said on your journal.  Try to think about your future as you would like it to be.  When thoughts about that girl come, put the brakes on and think about the future that you would like to have instead.  I know it won't seem easy because your feelings are involved, but if you keep thinking about those thoughts then the feelings will continue.  Instead of feeding the thoughts that are bringing you down, think about the future that you want to create for yourself.  Instead of thinking that you might never find a way to reconcile, think about ways to actually reconcile.  Thinking about a solution to the problem will help you to succeed in that area.

Thanks. I am wavering some days between being positive and thinking I can change things the way I want to and on other days feeling hopeless. Today, I've been feeling discouraged. But I'll find a way to turn it around, I'm sure! Thanks for the support

Here’s something that helped me get through my oneitis. Make up a woman, don’t use anyone who actually exists.  Fill in looks, personality, everything you can.  Now for a while imagine yourself having a healthy relationship that makes you happy with her.  Then do it again, but with a different imaginary woman.  That gets you used to the idea that there are many possibilities out there for you, and that many of them could make you happy.  I didn’t do any major formal meditation or visualization thing with that, I just daydreamed a little to sidetrack it when I thought of my ex.  You can do that with friends or whatever too.

I'll try that. Thanks.