10-14-2019, 06:25 AM
(This post was last modified: 10-14-2019, 06:32 AM by EvolvingPhoenix.)
Day 3 of carpetbombing. Feeling the depression hit me. Feelin REALLY shitty. Feeling like I'll spend my whole life trying to heal these wpunds and achieve happiness and still fail. I feel like even if I had a billion dollars right now, with a perfect wife manifested from an AYP/MYP sub, 2 beautiful kids, the ability to play guitar, creative acclaim, and all the other stuff I want in life, I would still be unhappy and wouldn't be able to appreciate ANY of it. And I would still hold myself in low regard. It FEELS like I just can't win. Like I'll never heal this within this lifetime. I know this is just a feeling and a self limiting belief, but that's just how it feels, even if it's untrue. I'm tired of living, but I gotta push forward and make the best strides I can. But it feels like I'm in a maze and and I'm feeling my way around it, blind as a bat.
