10-08-2019, 10:09 AM
Day 32 (0)
Thanks @Paul1131 , you're totally right. It is such an easy trap to fall into.
Yesterday I went ahead a bought myself that beer. 2, just enough to get relaxed but not enough to get drunk. I went to sleep and started the next day rested and ready for new challenges.
To be honest I feel much better today. Still below the curve but much better. That talk about responsibility and such really helped me. This is why I like this forum - even when I spit total nonsense the act of venting my thoughts and anxieties really helps out.
Even my inner dialogue has improved. Yesterday it was a chain of sadness and anger. Now I got angry a couple of times but the feeling quickly dissipated, mostly just on its own.
I feel quite anxious but mostly about my work. At the beginning of the month, to jumpstart my work, I took more responsibilities and obligations than usual. Because of this autumn depression however I did not do as much as I should have done. I dismissed this, saying to myself I will figure this out. Only today I have started to deal with the issues and while I did quite a lot of work it was... well, not enough for me to feel satisfied. If I managed to be as productive tomorrow I should catch up and be more at peace with my work issues.
As for the fears of the future... well, I don't know. I don't feel like I let go of everything but at the same time I no longer get anxious. Things will be good, I know it. I know it for the first time since at least a week or two.
Thanks @Paul1131 , you're totally right. It is such an easy trap to fall into.
Yesterday I went ahead a bought myself that beer. 2, just enough to get relaxed but not enough to get drunk. I went to sleep and started the next day rested and ready for new challenges.
To be honest I feel much better today. Still below the curve but much better. That talk about responsibility and such really helped me. This is why I like this forum - even when I spit total nonsense the act of venting my thoughts and anxieties really helps out.
Even my inner dialogue has improved. Yesterday it was a chain of sadness and anger. Now I got angry a couple of times but the feeling quickly dissipated, mostly just on its own.
I feel quite anxious but mostly about my work. At the beginning of the month, to jumpstart my work, I took more responsibilities and obligations than usual. Because of this autumn depression however I did not do as much as I should have done. I dismissed this, saying to myself I will figure this out. Only today I have started to deal with the issues and while I did quite a lot of work it was... well, not enough for me to feel satisfied. If I managed to be as productive tomorrow I should catch up and be more at peace with my work issues.
As for the fears of the future... well, I don't know. I don't feel like I let go of everything but at the same time I no longer get anxious. Things will be good, I know it. I know it for the first time since at least a week or two.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
