09-08-2019, 11:12 AM
Day 2 (1)
Holding onto strings better left to fray
"Holding Onto Strings Better Left to Fray" is an album released in 2011 by Seether, one of my favorite bands. It's kind of unique album for me. Rarely do I follow bands and more often than not I learn about new albums with some delay. Not this one though, I was waiting for it. Also it was released in a time of my life where I was redefining myself from edgy high-school to soon adult university student. Also it has great title, which was only expect given previous album was called "Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces".
I'd say all the songs on this album are good. Half of them are great. One of them is exceptional. I have 3 modes of listening to music: listening to any and all music, listening to a couple of songs on repeat and not listening at all. Currently I'm somewhere between first and second one. However, when I'm in the third mode, "Yeah!" from this album is the only song I can listen to. Short look at the lyrics will tell you why.
But it's not music I want to discuss today. Yesterday I have realized something interesting. In an exercise of the "worry later" kind of courage I have removed all my porn some time ago. Why didn't I brag about it earlier? Because why should I, it's silly. But to be honest I did not think it a big step at all. I just did it, I just wanted to burn that particular bridge.
Yesterday while hunting for some porn I got reminded of one from my collection. I was trying to find it to no avail, it's no longer available. I'm sure it's there somewhere but looking for it might take ages. I realized I do hold onto stings better left to fray. It's hard to let go, to give up what you had.
Today when I think of it I gives me closure. I have no choice but to give it up. My ex once told me, in an ultimately selfish act I think now, that we should remain friends after failure of our relationship. Among her reasoning was to keep image of the other one as real as possible - if we were to cut ties memories would take hold and imaginary, romanticized version would prevail. Ultimately it's not what happened. It was letting go, burning the bridges and letting the strings fray that gave me closure.
The lesson for me is simple - I should be more courageous not only in setting up actions, but also in setting up blocks for actions. So that if I know I don't want something now but I will want it in the future but it will be harmful, well, I should prevent it now. I always found it difficult. Always found it a struggle. Limiting myself is harder than forcing myself. But there might be more wisdom to it than I gave it credit before.
Holding onto strings better left to fray
"Holding Onto Strings Better Left to Fray" is an album released in 2011 by Seether, one of my favorite bands. It's kind of unique album for me. Rarely do I follow bands and more often than not I learn about new albums with some delay. Not this one though, I was waiting for it. Also it was released in a time of my life where I was redefining myself from edgy high-school to soon adult university student. Also it has great title, which was only expect given previous album was called "Finding Beauty in Negative Spaces".
I'd say all the songs on this album are good. Half of them are great. One of them is exceptional. I have 3 modes of listening to music: listening to any and all music, listening to a couple of songs on repeat and not listening at all. Currently I'm somewhere between first and second one. However, when I'm in the third mode, "Yeah!" from this album is the only song I can listen to. Short look at the lyrics will tell you why.
Quote:There's no comfort in song
I find it hard to believe
Don't go gently into the night
But keep on fighting as the light dies
A wise man knows that the dark's right
But will keep on coming, keep on coming on
Some will tell you that it's all right
The sun is burning in a dead sky
But you can't keep living in a broke mind
So keep on running, keep on coming on
But it's not music I want to discuss today. Yesterday I have realized something interesting. In an exercise of the "worry later" kind of courage I have removed all my porn some time ago. Why didn't I brag about it earlier? Because why should I, it's silly. But to be honest I did not think it a big step at all. I just did it, I just wanted to burn that particular bridge.
Yesterday while hunting for some porn I got reminded of one from my collection. I was trying to find it to no avail, it's no longer available. I'm sure it's there somewhere but looking for it might take ages. I realized I do hold onto stings better left to fray. It's hard to let go, to give up what you had.
Today when I think of it I gives me closure. I have no choice but to give it up. My ex once told me, in an ultimately selfish act I think now, that we should remain friends after failure of our relationship. Among her reasoning was to keep image of the other one as real as possible - if we were to cut ties memories would take hold and imaginary, romanticized version would prevail. Ultimately it's not what happened. It was letting go, burning the bridges and letting the strings fray that gave me closure.
The lesson for me is simple - I should be more courageous not only in setting up actions, but also in setting up blocks for actions. So that if I know I don't want something now but I will want it in the future but it will be harmful, well, I should prevent it now. I always found it difficult. Always found it a struggle. Limiting myself is harder than forcing myself. But there might be more wisdom to it than I gave it credit before.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
