09-04-2019, 02:27 PM
Day ?? (0)
Premature summary of the trip
I'm still in Scotland, tomorrow I'm inbound for Amsterdam and the next day I'm leaving for the home. It's still not quite the end but due to some developments it might just as well be the end. You see, after a week of constant sight-seeing and having fun in general I got sick. Nothing serious, just a flu, but enough so that I don't really have strength to do much. Surely not enough for my usual 20-30km walks around new city I visit.
So... the summary. It was fun. A lot of fun actually. I both visited lots of beautiful places and had great time with my family, my 4 years old godson included. Which is strange as I'm really bad with children. Oh well, maybe that oneis different
The theme of the trip would be without a doubt challenge. I had to go out of my comfort zone numerous times and up until I got sick I would always come on top. To my surprise I was able to be very confident and able while outside of the comfort zone. I think I will expand on this topic once I get back home and I'll have better retrospect on the topic.
My flu sickness in no coincidence I believe. When I was small child I would get sick all the time. Now it happens rarely, maybe once a year. But when it happens it's always at the moment when I can use it as an excuse. As if my body allows itself to be sick to provide an excuse not to do things. So this flu is something like "you've visited a lot already but enough of the challenges, get back home and use the flu as an excuse you don't have to go out of your way anymore". Well, thanks for nothing.
Similar story with NoFap. Here I've managed to score 11 days streak, however then I got sick and I also got this incredible erotic dream. Needless to say I tried to fight the urge but that dream left too strong of a mark. Like I said many times already I have mixed thoughts about how necessary for me NoFap is, however still I fell like I let myself down. Strong mind however requires strong body - with resolve I had I would do some exercises or read something to calm my urges. But when lying under sheets there was little in terms of combating the urge.
I don't hate myself for that. Sometimes it is better to let go and fight another day. I just hope I'll have stronger conviction to the idea in the future. There is lots at stake with this one after all. I might not need NoFap right now but I will need it in the future when my excuses finally run dry. I might start with this sooner rather than later just as well.
One final but quite important musing. All my trips this summer were great. From among 5 I've had this one I'd rank 2nd. However now, as I'll be coming back home, I'll have to return to good old routine. And that scares me. It wouldn't normally. I enjoy routine. "9 to 5 and suit and tie". However this return to work will be different. Now, due to LTU, I feel I have obligations to myself. I have things I'll have to do and things I'll have to stop doing. And that's scary, looks like hard work. Limiting oneself is never easy. But it is necessary.
Let me brace that responsibility as flu-infested last 2 days of my vacation last. Brave New World is approaching, The World of promise. I'm not sure if I will but I'm sure I must if I am to follow my dreams. To be whom I want to be.
Premature summary of the trip
I'm still in Scotland, tomorrow I'm inbound for Amsterdam and the next day I'm leaving for the home. It's still not quite the end but due to some developments it might just as well be the end. You see, after a week of constant sight-seeing and having fun in general I got sick. Nothing serious, just a flu, but enough so that I don't really have strength to do much. Surely not enough for my usual 20-30km walks around new city I visit.
So... the summary. It was fun. A lot of fun actually. I both visited lots of beautiful places and had great time with my family, my 4 years old godson included. Which is strange as I'm really bad with children. Oh well, maybe that oneis different
The theme of the trip would be without a doubt challenge. I had to go out of my comfort zone numerous times and up until I got sick I would always come on top. To my surprise I was able to be very confident and able while outside of the comfort zone. I think I will expand on this topic once I get back home and I'll have better retrospect on the topic.
My flu sickness in no coincidence I believe. When I was small child I would get sick all the time. Now it happens rarely, maybe once a year. But when it happens it's always at the moment when I can use it as an excuse. As if my body allows itself to be sick to provide an excuse not to do things. So this flu is something like "you've visited a lot already but enough of the challenges, get back home and use the flu as an excuse you don't have to go out of your way anymore". Well, thanks for nothing.
Similar story with NoFap. Here I've managed to score 11 days streak, however then I got sick and I also got this incredible erotic dream. Needless to say I tried to fight the urge but that dream left too strong of a mark. Like I said many times already I have mixed thoughts about how necessary for me NoFap is, however still I fell like I let myself down. Strong mind however requires strong body - with resolve I had I would do some exercises or read something to calm my urges. But when lying under sheets there was little in terms of combating the urge.
I don't hate myself for that. Sometimes it is better to let go and fight another day. I just hope I'll have stronger conviction to the idea in the future. There is lots at stake with this one after all. I might not need NoFap right now but I will need it in the future when my excuses finally run dry. I might start with this sooner rather than later just as well.
One final but quite important musing. All my trips this summer were great. From among 5 I've had this one I'd rank 2nd. However now, as I'll be coming back home, I'll have to return to good old routine. And that scares me. It wouldn't normally. I enjoy routine. "9 to 5 and suit and tie". However this return to work will be different. Now, due to LTU, I feel I have obligations to myself. I have things I'll have to do and things I'll have to stop doing. And that's scary, looks like hard work. Limiting oneself is never easy. But it is necessary.
Let me brace that responsibility as flu-infested last 2 days of my vacation last. Brave New World is approaching, The World of promise. I'm not sure if I will but I'm sure I must if I am to follow my dreams. To be whom I want to be.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
