08-12-2019, 11:31 AM
Day 22 cont.
I. HAVE. HAD. ENOUGH.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
The longer I think about last 2 months or so the more I realize how lazy I've gotten. Successes made me this way. They clouded my judgement, made me asleep.
This is not LTU's fault. It's my own.
Sub works great but it ain't do much without action. Passive benefits are great and I appreciate them but action is the key. All my travels made me think I do action while tip toeing in place.
I've let excuses rule over me. "You're doing great, you can loosen a bit". Well, f**k, sure I can. But I shouldn't. I should work hard on myself again, grow instead of being content with how I am.
Time is precious and every second is more than I can afford. There are lots of serious challenges ahead of me and focusing on minutia equates to wastage of time.
This is the time and place. The stars are aligning, I feel like this and every moment is magical. I have to grab it and use it, cut myself into a better shape. Potential is there, like a block of marble in front of Michelangelo.
It's almost worst than failing. When you fail, you learn. When you stagnate you don't change, you don't learn, you're as good as dead.
Being your own biggest critic is hard. Especially when you love yourself as I do. But loving yourself means not only forgiveness, it's also as being a parent - strict and demanding but proud of child's accomplishment and wanting child's good above all else.
This is my call to Action - from myself to myself. And I better hear it. I'm not gonna hate myself for failure. I'm gonna hate myself for wasting precious seconds. All my life I've wasted so much time. That loss is the only thing that makes me wanna cry.
I. HAVE. HAD. ENOUGH.
I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.
The longer I think about last 2 months or so the more I realize how lazy I've gotten. Successes made me this way. They clouded my judgement, made me asleep.
This is not LTU's fault. It's my own.
Sub works great but it ain't do much without action. Passive benefits are great and I appreciate them but action is the key. All my travels made me think I do action while tip toeing in place.
I've let excuses rule over me. "You're doing great, you can loosen a bit". Well, f**k, sure I can. But I shouldn't. I should work hard on myself again, grow instead of being content with how I am.
Time is precious and every second is more than I can afford. There are lots of serious challenges ahead of me and focusing on minutia equates to wastage of time.
This is the time and place. The stars are aligning, I feel like this and every moment is magical. I have to grab it and use it, cut myself into a better shape. Potential is there, like a block of marble in front of Michelangelo.
It's almost worst than failing. When you fail, you learn. When you stagnate you don't change, you don't learn, you're as good as dead.
Being your own biggest critic is hard. Especially when you love yourself as I do. But loving yourself means not only forgiveness, it's also as being a parent - strict and demanding but proud of child's accomplishment and wanting child's good above all else.
This is my call to Action - from myself to myself. And I better hear it. I'm not gonna hate myself for failure. I'm gonna hate myself for wasting precious seconds. All my life I've wasted so much time. That loss is the only thing that makes me wanna cry.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
