08-02-2019, 11:24 PM
I remember creating this thread when I saw little to no hope.
My mind was against me.
My world was against me.
My family didn't help much.
Tried everything type of alternative treatment and I was also scammed in few of those. I was so desperate.
No, friends, No Motivation, No desire to live.. Just living like cattle. Waking up eating and sleeping hope that I would never wake up.
Thought of giving IML a shot and even though I faced heavy resistance. I still kept on going. Even though I didn't had much of mental stamina.
Imagine a state where you have no desire to eat, yet still you eat, food doesn't taste good, nothing is good.
Yet everyday I would look forward to listening to subliminal and hoping that maybe in next 5 years I might get healed cause I knew how much fucked up I was.
I remember going to a neurologists and psychiatrists. Whenever they would ask what's wrong with me I will be like "Idk"...
How would you know what happiness is when you even haven't seen a glimpse of it ever since to step foot on this planet. Its like asking what heaven is like from a person who was born in Hell.
My family was dysfunctional and I just didn't knew what I needed to do to help them and keep them together.
Health issues, relationship issues, Money issues, debt issues.. $20 was like a very big deal to me.. Still kept on buying the subs and at one point I stopped expecting everything from life and subliminal.
I still listened to the subs without any hope. I accepted that if this is what life has to offer hopelessness and pain,then I accept this and have nothing to complain.
Thinking that atleast I gave my best shot even though I failed. Atleast I tried.
In the end I died from the inside. The old me died. I could feel it dying when I was listening to the subs. I had this constant feeling that I have lost something.. I dreamt of death, loosing people I love and waking up feeling sad and depressed more than before. Also having severe OCD (which I wasn't aware of) just amplified every experience I had like 100 times. Things would keep on repeating itself in my mind. Untill I would run out of energy to thinks off.
I wanted to live but everywhere I saw death.. Nothing was alive..I would see people happy and would wonder
What makes them so happy?
How are they happy?
Is it money?
Is it fate?
Is it love, sex?
Is there just too much neurotransmitters firing in their brain?
Or is it that maybe they arnt aware of their suffering and too busy being distracting themselves.
How come negative thoughts don't cross their mind when they are happy.? Like I have.
If these happy and positive people were locked in a room with their mobile and internet for 1 month. Will they still be happy? Cause I was locked in my own mind and room. Will they become me.
Are they escaping the problems which I tried to do but it caught up eventually?
So many questions in my mind would come..
Found IML in 2013 and it's 2019..All these years hoping for a solution to come.. Years of wait.. But in the end it worked. Life got better and is still getting better...
I really don't know how to express my thanks to IML and it's team and everyone user here.
This forum is my home and I know I will find everything here in order to move forward in life...Wish I could write more but it might turn rule 4.
But one day I will meet each and everyone of you guys/girls and I will love to hear/watch/experience your side of story.. While we all are drinking our favorite drinks. Especially you @Shannon. I am gonna ask you all your secret technique and knowledge. LOL
If you guys see any typos then let me know.. I am on mobile..
My mind was against me.
My world was against me.
My family didn't help much.
Tried everything type of alternative treatment and I was also scammed in few of those. I was so desperate.
No, friends, No Motivation, No desire to live.. Just living like cattle. Waking up eating and sleeping hope that I would never wake up.
Thought of giving IML a shot and even though I faced heavy resistance. I still kept on going. Even though I didn't had much of mental stamina.
Imagine a state where you have no desire to eat, yet still you eat, food doesn't taste good, nothing is good.
Yet everyday I would look forward to listening to subliminal and hoping that maybe in next 5 years I might get healed cause I knew how much fucked up I was.
I remember going to a neurologists and psychiatrists. Whenever they would ask what's wrong with me I will be like "Idk"...
How would you know what happiness is when you even haven't seen a glimpse of it ever since to step foot on this planet. Its like asking what heaven is like from a person who was born in Hell.
My family was dysfunctional and I just didn't knew what I needed to do to help them and keep them together.
Health issues, relationship issues, Money issues, debt issues.. $20 was like a very big deal to me.. Still kept on buying the subs and at one point I stopped expecting everything from life and subliminal.
I still listened to the subs without any hope. I accepted that if this is what life has to offer hopelessness and pain,then I accept this and have nothing to complain.
Thinking that atleast I gave my best shot even though I failed. Atleast I tried.
In the end I died from the inside. The old me died. I could feel it dying when I was listening to the subs. I had this constant feeling that I have lost something.. I dreamt of death, loosing people I love and waking up feeling sad and depressed more than before. Also having severe OCD (which I wasn't aware of) just amplified every experience I had like 100 times. Things would keep on repeating itself in my mind. Untill I would run out of energy to thinks off.
I wanted to live but everywhere I saw death.. Nothing was alive..I would see people happy and would wonder
What makes them so happy?
How are they happy?
Is it money?
Is it fate?
Is it love, sex?
Is there just too much neurotransmitters firing in their brain?
Or is it that maybe they arnt aware of their suffering and too busy being distracting themselves.
How come negative thoughts don't cross their mind when they are happy.? Like I have.
If these happy and positive people were locked in a room with their mobile and internet for 1 month. Will they still be happy? Cause I was locked in my own mind and room. Will they become me.
Are they escaping the problems which I tried to do but it caught up eventually?
So many questions in my mind would come..
Found IML in 2013 and it's 2019..All these years hoping for a solution to come.. Years of wait.. But in the end it worked. Life got better and is still getting better...
I really don't know how to express my thanks to IML and it's team and everyone user here.
This forum is my home and I know I will find everything here in order to move forward in life...Wish I could write more but it might turn rule 4.
But one day I will meet each and everyone of you guys/girls and I will love to hear/watch/experience your side of story.. While we all are drinking our favorite drinks. Especially you @Shannon. I am gonna ask you all your secret technique and knowledge. LOL
If you guys see any typos then let me know.. I am on mobile..
