07-06-2019, 04:37 PM
Day 75 (0)
I'm writing this post late at night, after some quite productive but (I cannot shake this feeling) empty day. Before you read my thoughts first watch this YT film.
My flatmate recommended me this channel today and this is the second film of theirs I've watched. Now, I'm not fan of celebrities. I don't hate them, I just think it's a waste of time caring about these sorts of people. And so I am indifferent to Keanu Reaves. I like him as an actor, he has strange and incredible charisma and presence. And so him in the thumbnail and speaking about introverts made in interested. That being said this particular movie made me think and that's the premise of today's post.
As introvert I've always thought I lack charisma. I've never been the most liked kid on the block, I've never had too many friends. And it still holds true. And, when it comes to myself, I'm not sure if I want to change that too much. I style myself as the lone wolf - better and stronger on my own. Especially given that in the past I've learned to be cautious towards others as opening myself is a dangerous preposition.
That being said being like Keanu presented in that video is compelling. I could be like that. But what do I lack? What should I do to remain my eccentric, introverted me but be likable and charismatic? Two things come to mind.
Rush I always seem to be in rush. Which is funny as, once I'm back home, I believe I waste much of my time and so there is no reason for rush. Why is that important? Because while I'm in rush I'm not approachable. When I'm out on my hike I pun on my earplugs and don't give a crap about people around me. All I want to do is to have some light workout and maybe appreciate nature. Otherwise then I leave home I just want to get from point A to point B ASAP. If I stroll instead of march then maybe people would take me differently and also my own mindset would be more laid back.
For example when recently I said I'm easily irritable one of these things were people just passing by. How there they go in my way?! I'm walking here, mind me! And sure, some people (especially cyclists) have little regard to others but that does not mean it should phase me out. Also I have quite an intimidating presence. With my long hair, beard and quite a physique I don't look like someone to be f**ked with. I've heard once that "if I didn't know you I'd be scared". And when I'm irritated and have this look that must be amplified. So maybe keeping my rush in check would make me more approachable on more than one level.
Gratitude Now this is something that is not easy to say. But I certainly feel like I lack gratitude towards others. I've always had this mentality of me being some chess master and others being pawns in my game. It's not to say I'm egocentric and I don't care about others. I do, often at my own peril. But it goes to show I see people through their roles and obligations they have in my life. So I expect X and Y to do this and when they don't I punish them, mostly by ignoring their asses. Add to that my good memory and "forgive but don't forget" mentality and you have second Machiavelli on your hands.
Don't get me wrong, while I am INTJ I'm not some evil puppet master. Even if I were truth be told I'd be bored
What I'm trying to say is I should be more grateful and mindful towards others. Don't look at them from my own perspective and their role in my life. I should be more kind in a unrequited way. Because I can be kind. I am kind to the people from my work. But that's because I know I might need them in the future so it's good to keep me in their good graces. And I am good to my friends, just not as much as they deserve. And also I try to be kind to strangers but only because my parents taught me so. Being kind consts me nothing, takes little time and maybe, just maybe, it might change my outlook and attitude for the better.
I wasn't talking much about this because I didn't consider this a problem. I was content with how I treat others. And while I don't treat people bad, I also don't treat them well. But now I do realize and recognize that this is an issue. And that issue ought to be addressed. I'd be hard to work on some internal actions, but external actions should be easy and they will surely bring internal changes. We'll see, it's something I'll have to meditate quite a lot.
I think I'll start with just smiling whenever I'm living the four corners of my safety. And now to bed before I fall asleep in front of my keyboard.
I'm writing this post late at night, after some quite productive but (I cannot shake this feeling) empty day. Before you read my thoughts first watch this YT film.
My flatmate recommended me this channel today and this is the second film of theirs I've watched. Now, I'm not fan of celebrities. I don't hate them, I just think it's a waste of time caring about these sorts of people. And so I am indifferent to Keanu Reaves. I like him as an actor, he has strange and incredible charisma and presence. And so him in the thumbnail and speaking about introverts made in interested. That being said this particular movie made me think and that's the premise of today's post.
As introvert I've always thought I lack charisma. I've never been the most liked kid on the block, I've never had too many friends. And it still holds true. And, when it comes to myself, I'm not sure if I want to change that too much. I style myself as the lone wolf - better and stronger on my own. Especially given that in the past I've learned to be cautious towards others as opening myself is a dangerous preposition.
That being said being like Keanu presented in that video is compelling. I could be like that. But what do I lack? What should I do to remain my eccentric, introverted me but be likable and charismatic? Two things come to mind.
Rush I always seem to be in rush. Which is funny as, once I'm back home, I believe I waste much of my time and so there is no reason for rush. Why is that important? Because while I'm in rush I'm not approachable. When I'm out on my hike I pun on my earplugs and don't give a crap about people around me. All I want to do is to have some light workout and maybe appreciate nature. Otherwise then I leave home I just want to get from point A to point B ASAP. If I stroll instead of march then maybe people would take me differently and also my own mindset would be more laid back.
For example when recently I said I'm easily irritable one of these things were people just passing by. How there they go in my way?! I'm walking here, mind me! And sure, some people (especially cyclists) have little regard to others but that does not mean it should phase me out. Also I have quite an intimidating presence. With my long hair, beard and quite a physique I don't look like someone to be f**ked with. I've heard once that "if I didn't know you I'd be scared". And when I'm irritated and have this look that must be amplified. So maybe keeping my rush in check would make me more approachable on more than one level.
Gratitude Now this is something that is not easy to say. But I certainly feel like I lack gratitude towards others. I've always had this mentality of me being some chess master and others being pawns in my game. It's not to say I'm egocentric and I don't care about others. I do, often at my own peril. But it goes to show I see people through their roles and obligations they have in my life. So I expect X and Y to do this and when they don't I punish them, mostly by ignoring their asses. Add to that my good memory and "forgive but don't forget" mentality and you have second Machiavelli on your hands.
Don't get me wrong, while I am INTJ I'm not some evil puppet master. Even if I were truth be told I'd be bored
What I'm trying to say is I should be more grateful and mindful towards others. Don't look at them from my own perspective and their role in my life. I should be more kind in a unrequited way. Because I can be kind. I am kind to the people from my work. But that's because I know I might need them in the future so it's good to keep me in their good graces. And I am good to my friends, just not as much as they deserve. And also I try to be kind to strangers but only because my parents taught me so. Being kind consts me nothing, takes little time and maybe, just maybe, it might change my outlook and attitude for the better.I wasn't talking much about this because I didn't consider this a problem. I was content with how I treat others. And while I don't treat people bad, I also don't treat them well. But now I do realize and recognize that this is an issue. And that issue ought to be addressed. I'd be hard to work on some internal actions, but external actions should be easy and they will surely bring internal changes. We'll see, it's something I'll have to meditate quite a lot.
I think I'll start with just smiling whenever I'm living the four corners of my safety. And now to bed before I fall asleep in front of my keyboard.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
