06-25-2019, 06:22 PM
(This post was last modified: 06-25-2019, 06:25 PM by DavisMind91.)
Woke up extremely early and meditated which has now become a daily habit for me. While at work I noticed that I was extremely unmotivated (fixed with an ITM loop), and felt unusually relaxed, although I had actually ingested caffeine. After getting home from work today i had plenty energy left, but out of nowhere decided to say screw it and I’ve done nothing productive ever since. Not sure what the cause of this is since my day at work hasn’t been very stressful at all, well due to me just not giving a damn all day and working my own pace anyway.
Today my interaction with female coworkers was all positive. It’s pretty much become a daily topic of discussion of how much of a player I am lol. I turn everything that’s said about it into a joke, although that’s made me realize that I’ve known more about women, and how to attract them than I ever thought I did. The only reason it seems I never kept them was because of inconsistency and complacency, which most people tend to fall victim to once someone has been in their life for a while. Quite an insight.
While I was eating lunch, I was sitting by myself, there were 4 seats total, within 10 minutes of me sitting down to eat the other 3 seats were filled by females that started a conversation with me. Nothing sexual or inappropriate, it was just something I noticed about the way I interacted with them. For one, the feeling of lacking communication skills that I’ve been having wasn’t there at all, and I had a ball with them. We all made each other laugh and I simply enjoyed their company while being present in the moment.
While I sat with them though there was a particular coworker that walked in. It’s the one I mentioned in an earlier post, whose body I scanned the other day. For one, this female is shy but seems even more so when we’re within feet of each other, if I greet her (whenever I feel like doing so), she either acts very happy and smiles bright or acts super timid. In any case I really don’t like shy women like I used to so it’s a bit of a turn off. What I also notice is that if she sees me she won’t even speak. This went on for a while and I noticed that I ALWAYS had to say something to her first, which rubbed my self-esteem the wrong way so I completely stopped talking to her at all and have been indifferent to when she looks at me. Today though, she did the same thing she’s been doing for the past 2 weeks, when she sees me talking to a group of female coworkers she stares long and hard. Even in the lunch room, while she moves around she’ll glance over at me and start staring while I ignore her presence.
Usually when her and I make eye contact she holds it until one of us looks away, as if she wants me to say something to her. That’s only when I’m in the lunch room though. At my desk I catch her sometimes staring out of the corner of my eye and she’ll either hold it or quickly look away. Anyway, today she walked into the room and stared over at my table. The 3 females I sat with had their backs turned to the door so I know I’m the only one she could’ve been looking at. It was my intent to ignore her completely like I’ve been doing but I noticed that her uniform shirt revealed some cleavage so I ended up glancing over once her eyes were off of me. It took a half a second to realize why I was doing so I turned back to the women at my table.
She then looked at me again as if she were trying to verify rather or not I had just looked at her chest. I carried on as usual but she did stare one more time as I continued my social interaction with the other women. When she was finally walking out the door, she did something super weird, and turned back around to stare at me for about 4 full seconds before finally walking out. I ignored this but found it wired as hell. When I came back from lunch I caught her staring a couple more times throughout the day but whatever.
I’m also really starting to notice too that women I’ve worked with for over a year seem to retain a crush on me. I can tell by how they stare when I’m near, meh. Today my neighbor l’s seat was also moved, haven’t mentioned it before now but this girl almost every day would stare at me while I sat next to her and she played with her hair constantly, a blatant IOI. I’m glad she moved he because the staring was pretty creepy. She was replaced by a woman that’s openly told me more than once that she finds my voice very soothing and sexy. She stated after she was moved that she felt a little weird being in a new seat. Now I typically would just stay quiet when I get a new neighbor, even when I already know them, but I decided to mix it up. I used some flirtation techniques I’ve been studying which got her to relax and laugh. We even got to know each other better. On another note, a female coworker from another department is showing clear signs of becoming more comfortable around me, thanks to a funny situation that happened yesterday. She would keep making corny jokes to get my attention both times that I came near her today, I’d simply smile and acknowledge her. There’s a few more things that happened concerning women today, including stuff outside of work but damn I’m tired about journaling about it. I feel at this point, if I ever did SM, WM or DMSI, I’d be one dangerous dude lol.
Today my interaction with female coworkers was all positive. It’s pretty much become a daily topic of discussion of how much of a player I am lol. I turn everything that’s said about it into a joke, although that’s made me realize that I’ve known more about women, and how to attract them than I ever thought I did. The only reason it seems I never kept them was because of inconsistency and complacency, which most people tend to fall victim to once someone has been in their life for a while. Quite an insight.
While I was eating lunch, I was sitting by myself, there were 4 seats total, within 10 minutes of me sitting down to eat the other 3 seats were filled by females that started a conversation with me. Nothing sexual or inappropriate, it was just something I noticed about the way I interacted with them. For one, the feeling of lacking communication skills that I’ve been having wasn’t there at all, and I had a ball with them. We all made each other laugh and I simply enjoyed their company while being present in the moment.
While I sat with them though there was a particular coworker that walked in. It’s the one I mentioned in an earlier post, whose body I scanned the other day. For one, this female is shy but seems even more so when we’re within feet of each other, if I greet her (whenever I feel like doing so), she either acts very happy and smiles bright or acts super timid. In any case I really don’t like shy women like I used to so it’s a bit of a turn off. What I also notice is that if she sees me she won’t even speak. This went on for a while and I noticed that I ALWAYS had to say something to her first, which rubbed my self-esteem the wrong way so I completely stopped talking to her at all and have been indifferent to when she looks at me. Today though, she did the same thing she’s been doing for the past 2 weeks, when she sees me talking to a group of female coworkers she stares long and hard. Even in the lunch room, while she moves around she’ll glance over at me and start staring while I ignore her presence.
Usually when her and I make eye contact she holds it until one of us looks away, as if she wants me to say something to her. That’s only when I’m in the lunch room though. At my desk I catch her sometimes staring out of the corner of my eye and she’ll either hold it or quickly look away. Anyway, today she walked into the room and stared over at my table. The 3 females I sat with had their backs turned to the door so I know I’m the only one she could’ve been looking at. It was my intent to ignore her completely like I’ve been doing but I noticed that her uniform shirt revealed some cleavage so I ended up glancing over once her eyes were off of me. It took a half a second to realize why I was doing so I turned back to the women at my table.
She then looked at me again as if she were trying to verify rather or not I had just looked at her chest. I carried on as usual but she did stare one more time as I continued my social interaction with the other women. When she was finally walking out the door, she did something super weird, and turned back around to stare at me for about 4 full seconds before finally walking out. I ignored this but found it wired as hell. When I came back from lunch I caught her staring a couple more times throughout the day but whatever.
I’m also really starting to notice too that women I’ve worked with for over a year seem to retain a crush on me. I can tell by how they stare when I’m near, meh. Today my neighbor l’s seat was also moved, haven’t mentioned it before now but this girl almost every day would stare at me while I sat next to her and she played with her hair constantly, a blatant IOI. I’m glad she moved he because the staring was pretty creepy. She was replaced by a woman that’s openly told me more than once that she finds my voice very soothing and sexy. She stated after she was moved that she felt a little weird being in a new seat. Now I typically would just stay quiet when I get a new neighbor, even when I already know them, but I decided to mix it up. I used some flirtation techniques I’ve been studying which got her to relax and laugh. We even got to know each other better. On another note, a female coworker from another department is showing clear signs of becoming more comfortable around me, thanks to a funny situation that happened yesterday. She would keep making corny jokes to get my attention both times that I came near her today, I’d simply smile and acknowledge her. There’s a few more things that happened concerning women today, including stuff outside of work but damn I’m tired about journaling about it. I feel at this point, if I ever did SM, WM or DMSI, I’d be one dangerous dude lol.
