06-24-2019, 12:14 PM
Wanted to post yesterday since it was my 2 year anniversary with using IML subs; however, I felt like s**t. My vacation turned out to be anything but. It seemed like every single thing I tried to do to advance the situations I'm dealing with were tougher than they should've been, or nothing could be done at all at the moment to help move things forward. Yesterday afternoon I felt tired, defeated, depressed and worthless. For the first time in 5 years I actually just wanted to give up. I wanted to run an ITM loop but it was my rest day for the sub, so I wanted to give my mind time to integrate everything from the previous cycle. It hit me this morning that this feeling stemmed from comparing myself to who I was in the past just a few years ago. The man that seemed, against all odds to get any and everything done and relatively quick, even with unexpected delays. It simply used to feel like I didn't have to try this hard or run into so much resistance. I know that man is still apart of me, things just don't feel the same success wise sometimes.
In other news, I figured out last night that I actually am becoming conscious on how to be better with women, instead of things seeming to "just happen". That was more than likely the one good part about yesterday.
This morning however, I had an appointment with a program counselor that part of me didn't really feel like going to, but I had already set the appointment Friday and at least wanted to hear the guy out. This program trains, and certifies US veterans in the IT field, as well as tries to get them employed. Long story short, I signed up, this is great because now I get a second chance to advance and gain employment in the IT field, which I originally wanted to do, but even after graduating with an Associate's could never seem to find a job or even get an interview. I've been looking to go back to school for web development, but this option actually suits my situation better. Even the one thing that may have kept me from being able to enroll into the program turned out not to be an issue. Haven't gotten to go to school in months since becoming the primary caretaker for my Daughter. Although these are evening classes I'll be attending, the schedules for both my Daughter's aunties recently shifted a bit so I may be able to have them pick her up from school and watch her while I'm in class.
It's like in 24 hours I went from feeling like I was at rock bottom to top of the world. USLM must be working out for sure. I've even had a couple situations I needed to handle for my Daughter work out today that I've been trying to get resolved for months, as well as getting some great news which means I'll be able to pay all my bills in the next 30 days, and handle a couple unexpected expenses that popped up. Though it sounds cliché, it feels like stars are aligning.
In other news, I figured out last night that I actually am becoming conscious on how to be better with women, instead of things seeming to "just happen". That was more than likely the one good part about yesterday.
This morning however, I had an appointment with a program counselor that part of me didn't really feel like going to, but I had already set the appointment Friday and at least wanted to hear the guy out. This program trains, and certifies US veterans in the IT field, as well as tries to get them employed. Long story short, I signed up, this is great because now I get a second chance to advance and gain employment in the IT field, which I originally wanted to do, but even after graduating with an Associate's could never seem to find a job or even get an interview. I've been looking to go back to school for web development, but this option actually suits my situation better. Even the one thing that may have kept me from being able to enroll into the program turned out not to be an issue. Haven't gotten to go to school in months since becoming the primary caretaker for my Daughter. Although these are evening classes I'll be attending, the schedules for both my Daughter's aunties recently shifted a bit so I may be able to have them pick her up from school and watch her while I'm in class.
It's like in 24 hours I went from feeling like I was at rock bottom to top of the world. USLM must be working out for sure. I've even had a couple situations I needed to handle for my Daughter work out today that I've been trying to get resolved for months, as well as getting some great news which means I'll be able to pay all my bills in the next 30 days, and handle a couple unexpected expenses that popped up. Though it sounds cliché, it feels like stars are aligning.
