05-13-2019, 05:40 AM
Day 21
I have some anxiety admitting this but I find myself blaming others for my past hurts, often unjustifiably. Two examples.
I think quite a lot about my ex and how she "wasn't there for me" and therefore she ruined the relationship. The problem is when I was with her and didn't want to be with her anyway as I didn't feel "complete" with her and I wanted to rather focus on myself than on the other. Why do I suddenly take offense in her posture when I did not way back when?
I also am angry at my friend, his girlfriend has chronic depression and he knew it when they get together. Now they broke, got back together and broke again and he expects my support. However it's hard to give as when I had a depressed girlfriend and we would fight he "wasn't there for me" as we were mutual friends and he didn't want to take sides. I understood it and accepted it, looking for solace in other people. Why do I suddenly take offense in his posture when I did not way back when?
It seems I have more to deal with regarding my past than I'd be comfortable admitting.
I have some anxiety admitting this but I find myself blaming others for my past hurts, often unjustifiably. Two examples.
I think quite a lot about my ex and how she "wasn't there for me" and therefore she ruined the relationship. The problem is when I was with her and didn't want to be with her anyway as I didn't feel "complete" with her and I wanted to rather focus on myself than on the other. Why do I suddenly take offense in her posture when I did not way back when?
I also am angry at my friend, his girlfriend has chronic depression and he knew it when they get together. Now they broke, got back together and broke again and he expects my support. However it's hard to give as when I had a depressed girlfriend and we would fight he "wasn't there for me" as we were mutual friends and he didn't want to take sides. I understood it and accepted it, looking for solace in other people. Why do I suddenly take offense in his posture when I did not way back when?
It seems I have more to deal with regarding my past than I'd be comfortable admitting.
For not by numbers of men, nor by measure of body, but by valor of soul is war to be decided.
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
~Belisarius, the last Roman
Certitude is for the puzzle-box logicians and girls of white glamour [...]. I am a letter written in uncertainty.
~36 Lessons of Vivec, Sermon 4
