Today was a good day. Stuff came up from yesterdays message and I was emotional affected at times, and it showed. People noticed the influx and shifts in my facial expressions. In a weird way tho. It came up rather sort of disconnected yet glaring obvious. Easy to remain unaffected by it. I watched it coming up along with clear steps as to handle it, open to being taught and learning.
Anyways, my attraction with her is 0 now. She can sex talk all she wanted and im admitting my realness here now, that nothing came up in my mind to picture. I was really closed off to her and realize it. Like some false front has been removed.
In a way I also am disillusioned by all of this. Like something persistent snapped and I now act differently. Im more open for all the happenings now. More confident, solid.
I also am knowing I have 3 other girls showing interest but im rather enjoying it and growing. Its like open seduction. Try me. Idgaf. Im setting myself first 100%, something I shouldve done way earlier. Im also feeling more mature, assertive and rather professional. Solid.
My frame is also stronger. Im standing with my decisions by taking charge/the lead in confronting it all. Im not happy but in a cold way. Im unaffected at all now like nothing triggers like before. Im sure, certain and assertive. Im hopefull and confident in clearing it up. I cooled down for myself through informing key persons so yeah. We'll see.
Anyways, my attraction with her is 0 now. She can sex talk all she wanted and im admitting my realness here now, that nothing came up in my mind to picture. I was really closed off to her and realize it. Like some false front has been removed.
In a way I also am disillusioned by all of this. Like something persistent snapped and I now act differently. Im more open for all the happenings now. More confident, solid.
I also am knowing I have 3 other girls showing interest but im rather enjoying it and growing. Its like open seduction. Try me. Idgaf. Im setting myself first 100%, something I shouldve done way earlier. Im also feeling more mature, assertive and rather professional. Solid.
My frame is also stronger. Im standing with my decisions by taking charge/the lead in confronting it all. Im not happy but in a cold way. Im unaffected at all now like nothing triggers like before. Im sure, certain and assertive. Im hopefull and confident in clearing it up. I cooled down for myself through informing key persons so yeah. We'll see.
