After waking up this morning having a dream in which I had a huge pushing drive, it came as strong in my waking state.
Anyways, I know, letting go of things will give me peace of mind in a way, and I am still aware of decisions and choices logically, the anger/agression/hurt pangs are real. Im having flashes since late morning, and anger is an response. I recognize, expression because I want to express, instead of "expressing to gain x". Point is, last couple of days disrespect has been a theme. Its like a shitstorm has been unleashed aswell as life has started to shittest me bigtime. Not true, but yeah, it reflects my own if not my inner beliefs at this very point.
Im also growing really intolerant to bs. Like seeing the passive agressiveness in one of my social circles is really grinding my gears. Logically I know letting go would give me space for new amazing experiences, yet emotionally? It pisses me off due part of me being invested.
I also woke up this morning by setting myself 100% first. My terms, rules, boundaries. People start to shittest if not, because people need it and girls want to feel this masculine polarity. In a way im ready to go full fledged asshole game, mercilessly pushing womens hardwire, yet I also dont care
Cutting off bs, is met with huge agression from me, till the point im feeling the anger oangs go off physically like a shockwave. I also know I need to process it, not trying to control, even tho its very prominent in my mind like a goddamn rollercoaster.
Also, maks are falling off exposing lots if people for who they are; shit. My boundaries increase, my tolerance decreases, and im starting to think about the sentence if a very few friends if not ending up alone. Which hits the sore spot. ( not the g-spot you...nvm )
Im in emotional turmoil. Still, im ready to tackle head on the issues around "rejection" for example. I recognize neediness in myself, attachment, investment etc etc, many concepts.
Also, im breaking off with Z. Its not worth it. Hearing from another guy she started texting him and how shes in love with me and now she heard im not interested( im literally just flirty, yet showed strong IODs from my side ) she treatens with suicide. Im fucking done. It aint my responsibility if she offs herself. Im at my witts end in all of this. It gives room for better stuff, but im now in a process masks fall off, my line is right here, my boundaries set and I aint responsible for what people do. 1 strike your out. Fuck off. I need and have to respect my boundaries and myself badly, even if this means being harsh, an asshole or whatever.
Anyways, I know, letting go of things will give me peace of mind in a way, and I am still aware of decisions and choices logically, the anger/agression/hurt pangs are real. Im having flashes since late morning, and anger is an response. I recognize, expression because I want to express, instead of "expressing to gain x". Point is, last couple of days disrespect has been a theme. Its like a shitstorm has been unleashed aswell as life has started to shittest me bigtime. Not true, but yeah, it reflects my own if not my inner beliefs at this very point.
Im also growing really intolerant to bs. Like seeing the passive agressiveness in one of my social circles is really grinding my gears. Logically I know letting go would give me space for new amazing experiences, yet emotionally? It pisses me off due part of me being invested.
I also woke up this morning by setting myself 100% first. My terms, rules, boundaries. People start to shittest if not, because people need it and girls want to feel this masculine polarity. In a way im ready to go full fledged asshole game, mercilessly pushing womens hardwire, yet I also dont care
Cutting off bs, is met with huge agression from me, till the point im feeling the anger oangs go off physically like a shockwave. I also know I need to process it, not trying to control, even tho its very prominent in my mind like a goddamn rollercoaster.
Also, maks are falling off exposing lots if people for who they are; shit. My boundaries increase, my tolerance decreases, and im starting to think about the sentence if a very few friends if not ending up alone. Which hits the sore spot. ( not the g-spot you...nvm )
Im in emotional turmoil. Still, im ready to tackle head on the issues around "rejection" for example. I recognize neediness in myself, attachment, investment etc etc, many concepts.
Also, im breaking off with Z. Its not worth it. Hearing from another guy she started texting him and how shes in love with me and now she heard im not interested( im literally just flirty, yet showed strong IODs from my side ) she treatens with suicide. Im fucking done. It aint my responsibility if she offs herself. Im at my witts end in all of this. It gives room for better stuff, but im now in a process masks fall off, my line is right here, my boundaries set and I aint responsible for what people do. 1 strike your out. Fuck off. I need and have to respect my boundaries and myself badly, even if this means being harsh, an asshole or whatever.
