04-21-2019, 01:40 AM
The introduction of FRM is only the second time in nearly 6 years I've been sceptical of these subliminals. What am I without fear, how do I survive? - when I've raised this before it's been brushed off in a sort of 'that's obviously stupid and illogical' tone. But the anxiety I've maintained has been there because of the real threat of exclusion, and isolation and whilst not death - it's not an uncommon abstraction of death.
The other fear that I would have to deal with is meaninglessness and that all suffering in this world is for nothing - confronting that fear honestly has led me into a spiral of avoidance behaviour. Smoking, eating carbs and all the obvious avoidance behaviour. I've been wandering around pretty annoyed and resentful - even at IML, feeling like I've wasted my time and money.
I wasn't sure how to deal with this and there was no one I could turn to, so I buried myself in books to find answers. If it's all meaningless, If there is not even a 'me', then what am I trying to do here. What's the point of me writing a report for work, straining to get a raise, being anxious about meetings and social engagements, feeling low status, and enduring other tragedies.
What I found was the a few paragraphs from a few books which brought into focus thoughts i'd had for years but nnever really grasped.
Shannon asked a while back 'what are you without your mind', and I would say that I don't conceptualise life without my mind per se but at my best, outside of my mind, 'I' am potential and a space for things to come into the world, - and my mind is the tool 'I' use to crystallise those things.
The other fear that I would have to deal with is meaninglessness and that all suffering in this world is for nothing - confronting that fear honestly has led me into a spiral of avoidance behaviour. Smoking, eating carbs and all the obvious avoidance behaviour. I've been wandering around pretty annoyed and resentful - even at IML, feeling like I've wasted my time and money.
I wasn't sure how to deal with this and there was no one I could turn to, so I buried myself in books to find answers. If it's all meaningless, If there is not even a 'me', then what am I trying to do here. What's the point of me writing a report for work, straining to get a raise, being anxious about meetings and social engagements, feeling low status, and enduring other tragedies.
What I found was the a few paragraphs from a few books which brought into focus thoughts i'd had for years but nnever really grasped.
Shannon asked a while back 'what are you without your mind', and I would say that I don't conceptualise life without my mind per se but at my best, outside of my mind, 'I' am potential and a space for things to come into the world, - and my mind is the tool 'I' use to crystallise those things.
Your task is not to seek for Love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.
