(02-19-2019, 10:29 AM)Have at ye Wrote:(02-19-2019, 05:45 AM)Infinite Wrote: I actually treated her the way that you just suggested. I see it as having treated as if she was beneath me because of the way that I was raised to treat people. I was taught to be really polite, to be nice even to people who hated me and mistreated me. Thanks for sharing your point of view, it helps me to see it for what it really is.
I oftentimes do the very same thing.
Some people may be impolite, aggresive, etc., because they're scared, having a bad day or something, and the it's very much fine to respond by trying to show them some love. They will really appreciate it.
Others use such behavior as a power play, and these types of folks won't respond to positive stimulus like a "sane" person would - in my experience, it'll only make them see you as an "easy mark". So the most practical approach is, I believe, the "you are beneath me" approach. They may fume and try to "show you your place" in response, but sooner or later they will respond by accepting the fact that you are the dominant side in the interaction - and either try to avoid you, or try to suck up (I'm not kidding, it's pretty disgusting when it happens). It's how many people seem to be wired. It's typical "social climber" type of stuff: crap all over those who you perceive as having less power, and suck up to those who you perceive as having more power. In my line of work, people often become indoctrinated to act like this.
You're right, it's not a one size fits all. I wrote on my latest journal about showing love to a girl who was being standoffish to me, because I got the impression that she was just masking her own low self esteem and insecurities. If she treats me the same way again, then treating her with love again will not be the best option for me.
The woman that treated me badly at the dinner actually used me as a scape goat in front of over a hundred people. Her husband was having an affair with a woman, and the two of them were having a love fest in front of everyone. She was very uncomfortable because of it. I had to get up from my seat, and when I came back, she acted like I was the source of her discomfort by acting like she was so uncomfortable to have to sit next to me. I actually felt so much sympathy for her having to be in that position, even after she mistreated me. Once I got on the subs, and I lost that fear of women, I also lost that sympathy for her because I realized that she had a lot of nerve and I did not deserve to be treated that way.
This is a woman who is used to being treated like she is special, so I would have treated her nicely just like everybody else does. I think that being on dmsi empowered me to not need her approval or fear repercussions from her friends. I didn't care if she knew that I didn't favor her like everyone else probably just pretend to. lol
