02-06-2019, 07:55 PM
Guess this wasn't my last post. Even though I'm off USLM3 I definitely still feel the success programming kicking in. To be completely honest I've been getting kind of bummed out that I'm still struggling to write music that doesn't just sound like loops stuck together. I think what really frustrates me the most is how I feel as if there's not enough time because of my job. I found myself in the past thinking that maybe I didn't have to try harder, maybe I should just focus on having fun. But it was really just being afraid of improving on aspects of my music. Also being afraid of evaluating my current skill level and being honest with myself. It got to the point where I had trouble listening to new music because I felt bad I couldn't create something like that.
In the end I realized if I want something I have to work for it. So instead of feeling bad about my music, I've been studying other artists and learning to see how I can improve. At times it does feel impossible. It feels like I'll never get there. And then a voice says "Well maybe you won't and that's ok" but I said no. I'm not gonna accept that kind of limiting thinking. That copout that allows me to circumvent a goal by convincing myself that I don't actually want it.
Sometimes I see other people having an easier time with all this music stuff. I think of all the hours I spend sometimes what amounts to trial and error trying to figure stuff out. Maybe I'm still building my skills, but it always sucks wanting to just create a song and then finding myself struggling to finish. But like I said, I'm making sure I'm doing something about it vs just feeling bad I'm not where I want to be
In the end I realized if I want something I have to work for it. So instead of feeling bad about my music, I've been studying other artists and learning to see how I can improve. At times it does feel impossible. It feels like I'll never get there. And then a voice says "Well maybe you won't and that's ok" but I said no. I'm not gonna accept that kind of limiting thinking. That copout that allows me to circumvent a goal by convincing myself that I don't actually want it.
Sometimes I see other people having an easier time with all this music stuff. I think of all the hours I spend sometimes what amounts to trial and error trying to figure stuff out. Maybe I'm still building my skills, but it always sucks wanting to just create a song and then finding myself struggling to finish. But like I said, I'm making sure I'm doing something about it vs just feeling bad I'm not where I want to be
INFP
