02-04-2019, 06:05 AM
(This post was last modified: 02-05-2019, 09:21 AM by DavisMind91.)
Stage 4, Day 30:
I'm glad this stage is almost over with. I've had more resistance this month than I've had in the past 19 months of using Shannon's subs put together. To top it all off, this morning I had to throw away 3 of the 6 Bluetooth devices I use to listen to subliminals. They weren't connecting to my phone at first but then when I kept attempting, they literally, physically broke. I lost 2 pairs of headphones and a set of wireless ear buds in a matter of 90 minutes, all in the exact same way. I'm pissed. that's over $200 down the drain and I haven't even had these devices for 5 months. This is wild considering that I treat all my electronic devices as carefully as small children. Clean them, make sure the battery never dies, etc.
I'm seriously starting to consider ditching BASE and getting LTU 4.0 within the next couple of weeks, so I can clear out this fear with FRM and get my subconscious to stop acting like a little b**ch. No idea how much meditation and trying to consciously communicate to it that it sabotaging me is not protecting me, but instead quite the opposite. I've put so much into BASE and I've had changes seen but I'm not sure how much longer I can wait to see if BASE is capable of eroding whatever fears lie in my subconscious all on it's own. My anger in general is also increasing in frequency and intensity, to the point where I almost fought an airport employee yesterday morning. In all honesty he was just doing his job, the way he did it annoyed me a bit but it shouldn't have been to the point that I wanted to assault him. I'm more mature than that.
I'm glad this stage is almost over with. I've had more resistance this month than I've had in the past 19 months of using Shannon's subs put together. To top it all off, this morning I had to throw away 3 of the 6 Bluetooth devices I use to listen to subliminals. They weren't connecting to my phone at first but then when I kept attempting, they literally, physically broke. I lost 2 pairs of headphones and a set of wireless ear buds in a matter of 90 minutes, all in the exact same way. I'm pissed. that's over $200 down the drain and I haven't even had these devices for 5 months. This is wild considering that I treat all my electronic devices as carefully as small children. Clean them, make sure the battery never dies, etc.
I'm seriously starting to consider ditching BASE and getting LTU 4.0 within the next couple of weeks, so I can clear out this fear with FRM and get my subconscious to stop acting like a little b**ch. No idea how much meditation and trying to consciously communicate to it that it sabotaging me is not protecting me, but instead quite the opposite. I've put so much into BASE and I've had changes seen but I'm not sure how much longer I can wait to see if BASE is capable of eroding whatever fears lie in my subconscious all on it's own. My anger in general is also increasing in frequency and intensity, to the point where I almost fought an airport employee yesterday morning. In all honesty he was just doing his job, the way he did it annoyed me a bit but it shouldn't have been to the point that I wanted to assault him. I'm more mature than that.
