Shannon's Journal Discussion Volume 3

[Shannon]

Shannon,

I've experienced some challenges lately at work, it's one person specifically, and I'm asking for some information of how LTU might help me grow in being able to believe in and trust myself more.

I've been working with a lazy bully in my department for about 5 months, and 2 weeks ago, I realized I was mad at him ONLY since his personal irresponsibility mirrored mine exactly. I've despised, hid, and denied this from my awareness for years, and his presence reminds me that "I thinkg that too--only I hide my glaring weaknesses". It makes me slowly aware I'm failing in this game with myself--which is hiding from the truth. I'm nearing 50, but my behavior and thinking is pretty immature. As I write, I feel a sadness of.....actually owning this.

I'd left Sub Shop for over a month since one day I sought some control over myself, and I went online looking for subliminals. I found some less effective healing subs (my primary aim), and ended with one selling male alpha subliminals. I had success with one of them.......but the healing focus was not there. I came back to SS and back to E2, a sub I found much freedom, hope, and joy on. Even tonight, while grocery shopping, separate single girls gave me those cute eyes. Maybe E2 just makes me feel deserving of good things. I'm unsure. No complaints

Back on point, I own AM6 presently, and I'm going to buy LTU 5.5, mostly for healing and self validation purposes. I often internalize people's criticism of me, and believe it over time. I'm going to use LTU--but I'm wondering if AM, despite its early build, might help me stand up for myself. I looked at it originally for the self reliance, self worth, self belief, and self-deserving focuses.

In short, I'm wondering if me not standing up for myself is all self esteem based (which is low), or if it's a lack of any good leadership modeling in my life. It is both really. It's the poor beliefs I internalized though.

Sounds like you answered your own question here.

I'm hoping LTU will train me to love, like, and value myself--so I won't seek it from anybody/everyone else. I know LTU is unisex, but how do you think it might help me in my self-valuing and self-belief?

I don't see why not. It deals directly with all of those things. I think it will be very helpful for those.