01-21-2019, 07:20 AM
Starting to wonder if my natural predisposition not to lock myself down or have rigid plans helps or hurts me. On one hand when I was younger and followed a plan just for the sake of having one I was miserable. On the other hand not having a clearly defined idea of where I needed to go left me scrambling.
All in all I feel like I don't know what I'm doing in life. I really don't. I'm fueled by my passion for music, but aside from that I really feel like I'm winging it. I always say that I don't follow the conventional path to life, but really what makes me any different at this point to anyone else? I have a full time job, I'm paying off debt, and I work on stuff after work and on weekends. The only difference for me is I have no desire to climb a corporate ladder or have my job be my life. I'm not any different. I'm stuck in the same grind as everyone else. If I was different I'd be living it vs fantasizing about it all the time.
The whole thing just feels like a trap that I don't want to be ensnared in. But everyone pushes you into it because of fear.
You know it's just that balance between knowing when to adapt yourself to the world vs changing your situation. These past 11 days made me realize just how much the whole thing sucked for me. If I forced myself to do it more would I get used to it? Should I even put myself in that position? At what point am I running away from stuff vs looking after my own well being?
All in all I feel like I don't know what I'm doing in life. I really don't. I'm fueled by my passion for music, but aside from that I really feel like I'm winging it. I always say that I don't follow the conventional path to life, but really what makes me any different at this point to anyone else? I have a full time job, I'm paying off debt, and I work on stuff after work and on weekends. The only difference for me is I have no desire to climb a corporate ladder or have my job be my life. I'm not any different. I'm stuck in the same grind as everyone else. If I was different I'd be living it vs fantasizing about it all the time.
The whole thing just feels like a trap that I don't want to be ensnared in. But everyone pushes you into it because of fear.
You know it's just that balance between knowing when to adapt yourself to the world vs changing your situation. These past 11 days made me realize just how much the whole thing sucked for me. If I forced myself to do it more would I get used to it? Should I even put myself in that position? At what point am I running away from stuff vs looking after my own well being?
INFP
