(01-13-2019, 03:33 PM)Greenduck Wrote: I started reading "mode one" thanks to your recommendation. I actually like it. Usually i find those kind of books ti simplified and not taking in a bigger picture of complexity of life, as they are trying to engineer social interactions based on their own theories, but this book take off from yourself being honest. I like that and I get the feeling that it's so far consistent. Thanks.
My own reflections so far is that when you move towards fear, and do what you fear, you are moving towards being honest. And in being honest is no real fear. Because when you are being honest and say something, the worst thing that can happen is that your values are being challenged, and becoming more firm from that. We are afraid of being "caught being fake people" - really, that's probably the biggest fear we men hold imo. Girls will challenge you, and this is to see if you are true with your words. If you aren't, you are playing a charade. If you are, you are a real person, a real guy, someone who trust himself and who she can trust. Trust is at it's core. And when we are honest, we challenge our own trust, and build it from the bottom up. Just good things can come from being honest.
E2 have helped me to start behaving in a mode-one behavior in my life own life towards myself . I don't do stuff that I don't want. I don't say things I don't want. Right now I want, and need to spend time with myself. I have become better to listen to my needs and understand what i want.
When the need to be with a women will be there, I will listen to that need. Right now I would say that I work on "mode 2" towards women, so this will be an interesting read on that point.
Thx for the nice comment greenduck... Yeah the more I think about it, the more I realize that I operate under mode 2...
A good mode 2 if such thing exist...
I have zero fear approaching/open women. I am a very social and likable guy... BUT I am NOT taking risks to express my sexual desires or inviting the new girl out with me.
The reason why I am censoring myself is FEAR. Fear of having my invitation declined. Fear of been judged or criticized for my feelings and expressing them openly due to crappy social rules.
I say good mode 2 because I have never ever felt resentment or anger torward women. I am just self-sufficient, happy with myself....
but definitely I could reap some nice and fun rewards by taking risks with women by operating under mode 1.
I think that since I have started using DMSI and AM6, I was just putting myself out there, talking to girls, then expecting some magic to happen by itself... That didn't happen and I suspect that the fear that I have just identified is the main cause...
Major victory just there for me... When the problem is acknowledged, it is already half fixed...
