04-26-2012, 05:46 PM
Stage 2 - Day 31,
AT HOME
On my way to training, I had a thought of doing everything I can to move out. My parents are just BAD together and my relationship with my father is more silent than the wind. It influences some of my days a lot in a negative way.
I try to be home as little as possible and I also try to not focus on it, even though it's really hard sometimes.
MARTIAL ARTS
I have used a lot of time on my training and focused on it.
Installing the habit of using at least 1 hour focusing training martial arts every day. Besides that nothing really feels better than dying slowly and then eat and take a shower and get myself to look good
My trainers vision for the academy: me and a colleague leading another school in a different place when we are that big.
WOMEN
Stage 2 has felt like a eternity. Nothing much new in the women area. Had a slightly sexual dream yesterday night but it was a girl I didn't find sexually attractive that sexually harassed me
it was inappropriate and uncomfortable.
In this stage I've noticed:
- women have been staring at me when I had been biking past them.
- I feel more in control of my sexual urges.
- less "need" to respond to a woman.
- as far as I remember, generally women have responded more "neutral" to me than "negative".
- when I tell a lie to a woman and she gets curious and later tell them that I was just kidding, women often goes like "don't think I am stupid!" and acts offended and some just leaves if they think I am lying. (My lies are very obvious and harmless but fun and interesting)
- I am noticing different types of girls more than before.
- It seems like my standards has risen. (because of the improvements in controlling sexual urges)
Can't think of more changes than these right now..
Last thing - when I started SM, in stage 1, I had girls I was seeing. By the end of stage 1 or the start of stage 2, these girls went away. Stage 2, nothing big happened, whether relationship-wise or sex-wise.
That's all for now. Have a good one!
AT HOME
On my way to training, I had a thought of doing everything I can to move out. My parents are just BAD together and my relationship with my father is more silent than the wind. It influences some of my days a lot in a negative way.
I try to be home as little as possible and I also try to not focus on it, even though it's really hard sometimes.
MARTIAL ARTS
I have used a lot of time on my training and focused on it.
Installing the habit of using at least 1 hour focusing training martial arts every day. Besides that nothing really feels better than dying slowly and then eat and take a shower and get myself to look good
My trainers vision for the academy: me and a colleague leading another school in a different place when we are that big.
WOMEN
Stage 2 has felt like a eternity. Nothing much new in the women area. Had a slightly sexual dream yesterday night but it was a girl I didn't find sexually attractive that sexually harassed me
it was inappropriate and uncomfortable.In this stage I've noticed:
- women have been staring at me when I had been biking past them.
- I feel more in control of my sexual urges.
- less "need" to respond to a woman.
- as far as I remember, generally women have responded more "neutral" to me than "negative".
- when I tell a lie to a woman and she gets curious and later tell them that I was just kidding, women often goes like "don't think I am stupid!" and acts offended and some just leaves if they think I am lying. (My lies are very obvious and harmless but fun and interesting)
- I am noticing different types of girls more than before.
- It seems like my standards has risen. (because of the improvements in controlling sexual urges)
Can't think of more changes than these right now..
Last thing - when I started SM, in stage 1, I had girls I was seeing. By the end of stage 1 or the start of stage 2, these girls went away. Stage 2, nothing big happened, whether relationship-wise or sex-wise.
That's all for now. Have a good one!
1. Do whatever you want.. risk whatever your gut tells you because.. you know you have good intentions.
2. Pressure forms the man.
3. Clarity gives space for better decisions.
