01-07-2019, 05:02 PM
So I'm reading a book about healthy movement. It went into neural pathways and how movements are remembered as sort of maps in the body. When you don't move a lot you actually lose these maps, essentially become disconnected from your body. I've felt like garbage lately because I don't exercise or engage my body. But it got me thinking about body awareness in general.
I'm very detached from my body. My chronic overthinking is an attempt to pacify the panic that still exists within my body at times. I think this is why logic has failed me and trying to change my thoughts in general doesn't work as well as it should. Last night I worked on relaxing every part of my body, breathing, not tensing up, not triggering that fear response. Not fighting fear, not trying to use stress or anger to overcome it. Rather gain control over my panicked responses to what the sub was bringing up.
I came to realize there's a level of fear, panic, stress, whatever you want to call it that is untouchable at a conscious thought level. Meaning whatever you tell yourself doesn't even reach it. That's why steady breathing, relaxing, and to a certain extent posture is important for communicating there is no threat. It feels like the intensity is turned up in my nervous system. I've very easily triggered into panic or anxiety, but I never paid enough attention to it. Now I'm trying to gain control over my reactions and to stop those spikes when they happen.
I feel like this past month my nervous system has been overloading because I haven't been taking the time to turn it down so to speak. So it just kept getting hit with it and the more I got hit the more my tolerance dropped until little things started throwing me into a highly anxious state. Once I hit that overloaded frozen highly anxious state, that's it. I'm not going to be improving anymore until I address it because it's essentially a locked up state where any of the subs instructions will be disregarded.
I'm very detached from my body. My chronic overthinking is an attempt to pacify the panic that still exists within my body at times. I think this is why logic has failed me and trying to change my thoughts in general doesn't work as well as it should. Last night I worked on relaxing every part of my body, breathing, not tensing up, not triggering that fear response. Not fighting fear, not trying to use stress or anger to overcome it. Rather gain control over my panicked responses to what the sub was bringing up.
I came to realize there's a level of fear, panic, stress, whatever you want to call it that is untouchable at a conscious thought level. Meaning whatever you tell yourself doesn't even reach it. That's why steady breathing, relaxing, and to a certain extent posture is important for communicating there is no threat. It feels like the intensity is turned up in my nervous system. I've very easily triggered into panic or anxiety, but I never paid enough attention to it. Now I'm trying to gain control over my reactions and to stop those spikes when they happen.
I feel like this past month my nervous system has been overloading because I haven't been taking the time to turn it down so to speak. So it just kept getting hit with it and the more I got hit the more my tolerance dropped until little things started throwing me into a highly anxious state. Once I hit that overloaded frozen highly anxious state, that's it. I'm not going to be improving anymore until I address it because it's essentially a locked up state where any of the subs instructions will be disregarded.
INFP
