Fluffy - US/LM3 - Journal

[Fluffy]

So we are having the second date Friday

Since I last posted my mind was going through multiple paths TRYING to find a way. It was rough.

I finally, decided to just let go and not TRY. I decided to enjoy what is and go with the flow and whatever happens, happens. I felt much better and felt the emotional weight finally drop off.

I decided to ponder possibilities, possibilities that are in a different direction but feel good to me. I started to be swept up in the possibility and the more I got swept up in them the more I felt like I would like to go in that direction. If I felt resistance I backed off and let go again.

Anyway, I am currently liking the idea of moving out and renting my own place. I felt like I could go from part-time to full-time with my job and I'll be able to do it.

I like the thought of a new adventure into independence.

I would have to quit the English class and the whole idea of me progressing onto the next thing and then finally the BA degree. I have got no motivation for the English class homework anyway, even the mock exam I was meant to do on Xmas holiday because I missed it in class, there is just nothing there, numb, empty.

I feel this sense of new adventure, renting my own place and working full-time that will go along with that.

I will go with the flow and let this unfold naturally as I can't see the whole staircase anyway.

I just finally want my own life, and be my own man, you know.

I don’t know what your native tongue is but I think your English is very good. You seem like you can express yourself well.

Thanks mate, I appreciate that but my native tongue, is the most English of them all, as I am actually English born and bred lol.

It's a qualification so I can get onto the next level then the level above that.

So this is English GCSE which is a level 2.

The next one will be an Access to Higher Education (in a subject/s) which equals level 3, which is also equivalent to 3 A- Levels.

Then there is the 3 or 4 year BA (Hons) Degree, which is level 4, 5 , 6.

Master's degree level 7

PHD level 8.


So yeah I am basically at the bottom lol.