USLM3- The Journey to Success

[mat422]

How did you realize that?

Well interestingly enough it all started when I was working on some music. I found myself being overly critical, assuming it was crap to begin with, basically not giving it a chance. But then something clicked in my head, I'm always making connections between seemingly unrelated things. I was afraid of this music being bad so I just made it bad in my head right off the bat so nobody else could tear it down before me. Since I consider music an extension of me, I had the realization that I do the same thing in my day to day life. Put myself down, expect the least from myself, assume the worst of what others think. In some ways it was like a survival mechanism, I knew the enemy, there were no surprises. I felt awful, but I knew how to manage it.

From there I saw how the only thing keeping these negative beliefs in place was the fear. Deep down I have that strong desire to rid myself of them and embrace positive things, but I knew the fear prevented me from doing so. But just understanding that these beliefs weren't me, that it was the fear compelling me to take them on helped me realize how I have more control than I had previously assumed. Although terribly irrational, there is a reason for developing those things in myself. Understanding the reason helped me become more detached from it and able to choose a better approach.