smash is a natural alpha

[Shannon]

I also have a question for Shannon relating to smash's previous post here. I've felt alot of anger before on these subs and I usually just bang the shit out of my drums. But I've been giving the drums a rest because I've got a sore knee. I was angry the other day and may have suppressed my feelings because I was about to smash something on the ground but forgot what it was. Something tells me reacting in this way even if I'm angry is not right. But maybe it is healthy. Next time I'm angry should I go ahead and smash some furniture like Smash did?

Expressing the anger fully is useful depending on what's causing it and how effective the actions are at expressing it. You want to refrain from such things unless:

1. Your anger comes from a non-renewable source;
2. You know that by being physically violent, you are expressing the anger such that the "pool of anger" is being drained off permanently; and
3. You do not endanger yourself or anyone else in the process, or do anything you regret.

Anger comes in two basic flavors. There's anger that was repressed and stored, over some sort of experience, and there's anger generated in the moment.

There are also different styles of getting angry and expressing it. Some people are quick to anger and quick to calm down; others are slow to anger and slow to calm down. Some are verbal when they get sufficiently angry, some are emotional, some are explosive, and some are physically violent.

Temper is how you get angry and how you respond to it. If your temper is easily triggered and you lose control easily, it's a good idea to try to learn to outgrow the triggers and the loss of control.

The idea is that allowing yourself to become physically violent is only truly useful if it is not simply an in-the-moment temper response, which will likely be recurring, but is instead a reserve of repressed anger which it is good to disgorge. You of course must also structure your responses so that you can express this anger sufficiently to let go of it, while doing nobody any harm, nor causing anything to happen that you regret later.

The key is getting rid of anger you have stored.

If this is just a temper response, and you feel the desire to express and disgorge it through physical violence, a heavy bad would probably be a better choice. In fact a heavy bag wouldn't be a bad choice regardless... but there is a certain cathartic release in "breaking the rules" to express anger, and that is definitely do-able through breaking, smashing and destroying things.

You can buy things specifically for that purpose. Just avoid glassware or anything that could hurt you from shards, etc. if you do, and pay close attention to how well it gets rid of the anger. You should feel significantly better afterwards, if you do it right.

Also, only do this sort of thing by yourself, unless you have a trusted friend or therapist to be there to guide and observe.

Those are my suggestions for dealing with the anger.