ARA 5.5 - Anxiety relief aid 5.5 G

[Omni3]

Have seen that there are not that many ARA journals and this sub is special, so I'll try to do my best to journal usage of this sub

ARA 5.5 G - 6 hours before falling asleep (sometimes 4 hours or 5)

I listen to the sub from my phone Huawei. When I turn the sub on and start listening nothing special happens. Literally I notice nothing. Now, nothing happens? How come? Damn a thought of dropping the sub crossed my mind in the very beginning, but then the next day after my very first 6 hours I noticed that overall I was feeling very calm, still tensed and with some depression-pain in my body, but calm. I noticed this when I've been visiting my grandma and usually sitting and chatting with her would be like a pain in the ass. Normally I would be extremely rash to get out of her flat and go home in order to lie and rest in my bed and die of pain, haha. Not this time though - and that's how I felt after my first 6 hours of ARA. Nice beginning.

So what happened during those more or less 45-50 days of using ARA?
Why couldn't I just relax before using ARA?
Why why why, damn the anserws are so cool!

First of all, I'd like to emphasize that I'm not sure how to put my transformation into words so that it's accurate. It has been so simple, it continues to be so simple, yet it is not so easy to express it.
So it all comes down to my ego. But what is ego?
It is the way I was conducting myself in my 20s. The way in which I've been perceiving myself in relation to other people. How important I felt, how important I wanted other people to see I am, but inside I was insecure, inside I had no safe ground, nothing. I was not living grounded in the now moment, I was attached to others and craving their respect. And I used all of my energy in such a stupid way.
I didn't understand that there was subconscious mind and that I've been programing myself and that in the end I created an energy monster, energy block, solid energy of accumulated perceptions of myself&attachments and that it just was stored somewhere in me and... I guess that most people are like that, full of attachments, not living in the now moment, not being alive. You don't see this, but you have many layers of previous perceptions and that makes you tired.
So ARA helped med dissolve my ego more effectively than EPRHA. It's very simple. It just goes to the root and I just see the energy block holding me back, making me tired in the now and I just connect to it and relax. So simple.

Why couldn't I relax before using ARA? Coz I had all those layers of previous perceptions, imagine, lots of layers of overlapping intentions with various degree of intensity and all and everything in one moment, NOW, it's as though you wanted to drive a car and in the same time make a dinner, clean up at home and dress up and watch a movie all at the same time, it's not possible to do so many things at the same time, you do it one after another. And I had so many intentions stored in my subconscious - and that is the source of pain I felt, every minute of my life when I was depressed I felt as though I was being torn to shreds. ARA helped me relax one intention after another and bring peace, tranquillity and calm into the now moment. I even feel I have the mental space to write this post :-D

All I can say after all those years of depression is that recovering from depression or anxiety is not easy. I wouldn't recover by myself without these subs. And furthermore It's not just about relaxing, more importantly I have to learn how to live in a healthy direction.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm having similar awareness of energy blocks and letting go into relaxation on USLM3