USLM3- The Journey to Success

[mat422]

Been learning music theory. On one hand it lets me be more expressive with my music. On the other hand it guarantees that the music "works". But what works isn't always inspiring.

I was working on a track today and felt like I was fighting again to get things right. But then I played my track one more time, closed my eyes, and noticed I had this apprehension while listening. Like "what if my kick drum is too loud?", but it was that exact anxiety that distracted me from really tuning in and listening. Sometimes I feel as if when I hold too much fear it blocks me from perceiving what's actually in front of me.

So I just did that. Then opened my eyes and just following my intuition for what needed to be changed. And in less than 5 minutes my track was sounding better than when I was fighting with it for the past hour. I think ultra success is having an influence, but part of me is still afraid and not trusting my own judgement or intuition. So I don't make solid decisions with my own creative expression.

I've never really been a confident person when it comes to any abilities or skill I possess. So I have a tendency to second guess my competence in anything to the point where it breaks my flow.