Shannon's Journal Discussion Volume 3

[Shannon]

I actually meant to add wealth as a mean to support the Design goal to happen. Meaning if a person is not living in environment/country which dmsi is possible. Then the wealth element takes care of this and provide the means (money, scholarship, job or whatever) to change environment and make DMSI possible.

Hmm I hadn't thought of it that way. I know that is what I'm trying to do now with trying to leave the country since I found myself a lot more happier while in another country and found it a lot more easier to get women while in the Philippines. Probably the reason why the OE directing me towards dental tourism with the secondary idea of going to a country where the women react quite a bit differently. I will admit that after my experience my interest in American born women has gone down by quite a bit so if this could be done without diverting away from the script too much I would be all for it.

But if you could spend some time trying to answer the question of what is missing, it would surely help for me to know. I get the feeling that v3 won't be the final version, but the more I know, the faster development will go.

I do have an important update @Shannon. I think I finally know what is going on. After thinking about it for a while I couldn't figure out anything but I finally got it right after I woke up from a nap which I think I understand why that is (more on that later). Its a much broader variation of the loophole my subconscious was using on DMSI 3.2. On 3.2 it was more specific in that it just targeted my desire for women and came up with the "I don't care" response every single time. Now it seems like it is much broader while running this sub.

Its like it has decided to shut down almost all emotion to a degree (which obviously would affect motivation to act on the script, etc). If I could use an example that I often use of how I think I should be do things: I often believe that logic should be the thing directing your life (as like if your in a car) and emotions should be the fuel as it were (don't know if that is a good belief or not, just saying what I believe). So I'm in this weird place where on a mental/logical level I know I will "succeed" but on a emotional level I don't really feel anything at all (there is no fuel behind the belief). Its like part of me realizes that if everything else was kept constant it would lose out to the directions of the sub so it will just make me emotionally numb or not feel anything so there is nothing to fuel either side really.

This would also explain why I have this feeling that something is missing and this "intuition" that I should be getting much greater results than I am currently getting but something is stopping that in its tracks. There's no emotions there to help move the whole thing forward. Like the part resisting knows it will lose other wise and so it will just neutralize anything getting any fuel. I do find this funny on some level seeing as you said the subconscious is emotional and hence it seems like it is neutralizing a part of itself in order to not succeed at fully executing the sub.

I've also noticed this has interfered with my ability to accurately analyze what is going on internally while awake. I kept on thinking on it after you asked me and came up with nothing but I finally got it after waking up. I think that is because as you said a while back ago it can't resist the sub as effectively during certain states of the sleep cycle. So I find that after I wake up I feel like I am executing a lot more fully but after a being a wake for a bit that goes out the window as that part resisting starts implementing this all over again. Either way, I hope I explained this well and it was helpful because writing this post took a long time to do. While writing this it felt like something kept on causing chaos in my mind and interrupting my thoughts so I had to stop many times. This included something yelling out in my mind at one point "You don't want to do this". With a response like that I'm guessing this had to be what was holding me back. No idea how it is doing this all though. Like whether its messing with my hormone levels or something to keep me emotionally neutralized.

*Edit: After thinking about this more I'm not sure if you would put this under a more "subtle" version of scorched earth tactics. As in "If I keep things a normal I'm going to lose so I will just shut myself down emotionally so I won't have to execute". It does feel that way, like I'm completely empty most of the time emotionally and I just don't feel anything. Sure every once in a while I feel the PTSD moments come back (hardly now) or feel a bit of motivation come through to execute the script but most of the time its just nothingness. So, in a way not that the script is missing something, its that the part resisting has artificially downgraded my emotions to not have to execute just like it did with DMSI 3.2. Only difference being that that was way more specific (messing with sexual interest in women) while this is on a much broader scale.

Very interesting. I suspect we are almost to the point where there is nothing left to do but execute, based on this sort of reaction.

I will be putting in programming to overcome this in DMSI, and possibly adjusting the FRM specifically to do so.