09-15-2018, 01:05 AM
I've been stressed on E2 lately, and I read some old E2 journals last night. I realized I've been trying to convince myself to not run it, that some other sub is better. I've seen some remarks to others doing the same things as I, and I'm identifying.
I'm facing old fears of being hurt if I trust men again, which stems from my brother abandoning me when young. I've noticed how most of my posts lately have had this unspoken message here of "this will make them leave me alone". Fear has been high the last 24 hours.
What I'm feeling and realizing now is this "leave me alone" message isn't new. I've done it for years.
Going to work soon. An old tough, lovable guy I've worked with called me last night. I texted him this morning, hoping I might work with him today.
I'm choosing something good.
I'm facing old fears of being hurt if I trust men again, which stems from my brother abandoning me when young. I've noticed how most of my posts lately have had this unspoken message here of "this will make them leave me alone". Fear has been high the last 24 hours.
What I'm feeling and realizing now is this "leave me alone" message isn't new. I've done it for years.
Going to work soon. An old tough, lovable guy I've worked with called me last night. I texted him this morning, hoping I might work with him today.
I'm choosing something good.
I want to be FREE!
