09-09-2018, 05:55 PM
The second incident is not about sex. It's about my mom. Short story: I downloaded E1 for her on her phone, and have it on loop for her. She requested this. She's 78.
When I got back from shopping, I ate, and her conversation steered towards my middle brother who's been helping her a lot while she recovers from her broken elbow. But........he has been the angry victim lately, moaning and whining since he's offered to help his mother.
I have seen this. He sent me a manipulative text mid-week saying he needed some help. He was completely unspecific, and it felt like he was dangerously angry, his normal reaction. He's always been a rager. I didn't reply.
Well, my mom brought this up since he mirrors how my father was towards her when they were together: he was always right, always in charge, always demeaning and disempowering, and very dangerous emotionally and physically. He threatened violence, and would follow through. My father was 6'3", and my brother's close.
My mom began talking about this, I saw her pour 2 shots of vodka into her drink, and I realized I didn't wish to encourage this since alcohol allows unending yapping about old shit.
When she saw me slowly begin packing up, she halted herself, saying she'd never do that again. I never told her it was due to her drinking. She talked a little more, then painted a picture with words which I found extremely clear.
She told me about driving with someone you know, that person is driving wild, then he nearly flips the car in a last minute turn. She said it scares you to death, but you'd go on with life. You'd get over it.
She continued. Her next picture was present day, with someone close, and he drives just like the other driver. He even almost flips the car. She said neither think they did something wrong. Both return nasty remarks when it's spoken of. And the latter is my brother. The first is my father. She loves both, but she left the first to save her life. The latter says he loves her, but is nasty and shaming when she's with him. She said my father was the same. And with both, she walks very lightly around since she is very afraid of their anger.
I heard her, wondering if I should share my hope. The hope that subliminals have given me. I did.
I leaned down to her, telling her I was not disgusted, angry, or appalled at all by her sharing. I said I could relate, but I do have my limits. She understood. I asked if I could share what's been giving me hope, and what's been working for me. She said yes, nearly in tears.
I told her I do subliminals for one clear reason: simplicity. I said I knew it'd be BS to say "go to meetings. Sign up for therapy". I know it's a hard, heavily resisted, and painful game working out emotional traumas. She nodded her head. I said I do subs since all I do is listen. They change me. I shared I do 95% silent subs, and they change me.
I told her about E2, and I'd pay for a copy for her if she wanted. I then shared about E1, and that it was free. I repeated this is what is changing me, and I can live with myself more comfortably each and every day. I stopped, letting it soak in. 30 seconds later, she said "Ok......I'll do what you say. I do those things". She wanted the free version. Wow.
I asked if I could download it onto her phone. She said yes, and after not finding a player, I downloaded VLC too. When I set it up, I held her phone up, showing her where it was, how to start it, how to loop it, volume controls, and I left it next to her bed. I told her I just keep mine running, rarely turning it off.
She was extremely grateful I understood her situation, as she's felt helpless over this trauma. I told her I could absolutely relate to that. I picked up her apprehension, but I too wondered early on "how will I feel? Will I fight it? How do I accept this?" plus lots more doubts and fears going forward.
So, my mom presently has E1 running on ultrasonic, with her permission. What an incredible day!
When I got back from shopping, I ate, and her conversation steered towards my middle brother who's been helping her a lot while she recovers from her broken elbow. But........he has been the angry victim lately, moaning and whining since he's offered to help his mother.
I have seen this. He sent me a manipulative text mid-week saying he needed some help. He was completely unspecific, and it felt like he was dangerously angry, his normal reaction. He's always been a rager. I didn't reply.
Well, my mom brought this up since he mirrors how my father was towards her when they were together: he was always right, always in charge, always demeaning and disempowering, and very dangerous emotionally and physically. He threatened violence, and would follow through. My father was 6'3", and my brother's close.
My mom began talking about this, I saw her pour 2 shots of vodka into her drink, and I realized I didn't wish to encourage this since alcohol allows unending yapping about old shit.
When she saw me slowly begin packing up, she halted herself, saying she'd never do that again. I never told her it was due to her drinking. She talked a little more, then painted a picture with words which I found extremely clear.
She told me about driving with someone you know, that person is driving wild, then he nearly flips the car in a last minute turn. She said it scares you to death, but you'd go on with life. You'd get over it.
She continued. Her next picture was present day, with someone close, and he drives just like the other driver. He even almost flips the car. She said neither think they did something wrong. Both return nasty remarks when it's spoken of. And the latter is my brother. The first is my father. She loves both, but she left the first to save her life. The latter says he loves her, but is nasty and shaming when she's with him. She said my father was the same. And with both, she walks very lightly around since she is very afraid of their anger.
I heard her, wondering if I should share my hope. The hope that subliminals have given me. I did.
I leaned down to her, telling her I was not disgusted, angry, or appalled at all by her sharing. I said I could relate, but I do have my limits. She understood. I asked if I could share what's been giving me hope, and what's been working for me. She said yes, nearly in tears.
I told her I do subliminals for one clear reason: simplicity. I said I knew it'd be BS to say "go to meetings. Sign up for therapy". I know it's a hard, heavily resisted, and painful game working out emotional traumas. She nodded her head. I said I do subs since all I do is listen. They change me. I shared I do 95% silent subs, and they change me.
I told her about E2, and I'd pay for a copy for her if she wanted. I then shared about E1, and that it was free. I repeated this is what is changing me, and I can live with myself more comfortably each and every day. I stopped, letting it soak in. 30 seconds later, she said "Ok......I'll do what you say. I do those things". She wanted the free version. Wow.
I asked if I could download it onto her phone. She said yes, and after not finding a player, I downloaded VLC too. When I set it up, I held her phone up, showing her where it was, how to start it, how to loop it, volume controls, and I left it next to her bed. I told her I just keep mine running, rarely turning it off.
She was extremely grateful I understood her situation, as she's felt helpless over this trauma. I told her I could absolutely relate to that. I picked up her apprehension, but I too wondered early on "how will I feel? Will I fight it? How do I accept this?" plus lots more doubts and fears going forward.
So, my mom presently has E1 running on ultrasonic, with her permission. What an incredible day!
I want to be FREE!
