08-31-2018, 02:14 PM
I'm having 2 things happen currently. Both are good change. It's just very new to me.
First, the lesser realization. I wanted to write earlier in the afternoon since I'd been listening to E2 at work, and my feelings were surfacing. That's what my 2nd point is about here, but I think I just experienced something I'd never fully identified. It's about self-validation. When I wanted to write earlier, I didn't feel alone and needy, so I could have just laid it out here. But in the last hour, I've fought coming here, (feeling small, or young), and putting on a persona. In the last 20 minutes, it clicked. I am validating myself.
Wow.........I'm crying now sharing this. That's major. I've come here almost every time I write, silently asking "am I worthy? Tell me I'm worthy" I've ignored myself doing this; maybe that's why it saddens me, as ..........can I/I can do this myself? Tears on and off now.
Gonna take a break to come back to my 2nd point.
First, the lesser realization. I wanted to write earlier in the afternoon since I'd been listening to E2 at work, and my feelings were surfacing. That's what my 2nd point is about here, but I think I just experienced something I'd never fully identified. It's about self-validation. When I wanted to write earlier, I didn't feel alone and needy, so I could have just laid it out here. But in the last hour, I've fought coming here, (feeling small, or young), and putting on a persona. In the last 20 minutes, it clicked. I am validating myself.
Wow.........I'm crying now sharing this. That's major. I've come here almost every time I write, silently asking "am I worthy? Tell me I'm worthy" I've ignored myself doing this; maybe that's why it saddens me, as ..........can I/I can do this myself? Tears on and off now.
Gonna take a break to come back to my 2nd point.
I want to be FREE!
