08-29-2018, 12:03 AM
(08-28-2018, 06:11 PM)SargeMaximus Wrote: So today was… interesting.
It's one of those days where you're not sure if you're being shit-tested by everyone, if YOU, yourself, are shitty, or if you're in a new paradigm and this is just the way things are now.
For starters, took out the trash and saw my landlord. He's usually happy to see me. Today he seemed almost mad.
Then I went out to do sales, and got a random call from my cousin. He was in the area and wanted to knock with me. I was happy because I haven't seen him for a while but we've been in contact and he knows how much money I've been making lately.
Anyhow, I got in his car and we start driving around. Then he's just super disappointed by the area, saying it's no good and just taking a massive verbal shit on it (despite me doing well there yesterday as I mentioned in this journal).
Eventually he's like "I'm not knocking here. Let me know how you do." and so we part ways.
Well, that stuck in my head and kinda got me down but I decided not to let it. Went out knocking for 4 hours and only got 7. MOST people were dismissive and indifferent to me. Something that doesn't happen often, and many were just downright rude.
So I had to think "ok, it MUST be me, but why? I'm doing more than I have ever done before. I'm taking control of my life and all that jazz" and then the shitty "it's because you're getting better people be hating" thoughts crept in. And once THOSE thoughts crept in, it was game over. I couldn't be bothered but I trudged through all the rejections till the end of the night.
SO, like I said, I'm not one to believe the "they be hating because I'm so alpha" or any other Sour Grapes BS, BUT, one cannot deny that, despite being in a very determined and "I will kick this day's ass" mood, I got very poor results.
Yesterday I got 10 in 3 streets. Today I got 7 in like 5. Not good at all.
Anyhow, I always get confused about this, and I've often noticed that people respond to me when I start improving my life negatively. I don't like to say they be hating because it blinds me to whatever I could possibly improve. BUT, results are results.
If it IS all just a big shit test, not sure how to handle it.
Normally I would have stormed off and not given these people the time of day, but today I was much more assertive, which is supposed to be "good" but again, results are the results.
EDIT: Oh yeah, and then today when I got home I asked my brother how he was, and he did the usual "I'm alright" with sad tone. So I'm like "do you need some tissues?" He was like "What?" I said more slowly and pointedly "Did, you, need, some, tissues?" He's like "Uh, no." I'm like "good."
I've read that when someone throws a pitty remark like that, you're supposed to send an asshole comment their way, so there it was. Not sure if it's a good idea or not.
It seems to be a common thing to have occasional days like this.
I had a day like this recently, where people who are normally friendly to me were cold and harsh towards me. Like, these people don’t know each other, but were all cold / harsh on the same day towards me.
Other occasional days, people are super friendly toward me, and I have insane luck.
Most days are a mixture of both though.
I wonder the same thing, whether my vibe is just way off some days, or is it all just a coincidence (like all those people are in bad moods on the same day, for reasons unrelated to me).
