08-25-2018, 12:58 AM
Something I believe I'm experiencing I never thought it'd come up on E2: sexual healing. Just over a week ago I had awareness that sexual beliefs were being touched, and I noticed it since I felt comfortable in my groin area. I sometimes fap to relieve the uncomfortableness, but not last week. It was evident to me.
This morning I read some AM6 journals, and many talk about an active sex life. My history with women is scarce since my thinking on sex has primarily been.....discomfort.
I'm writing to find something now. One peer coworker sent me a nude video on Whatsapp of one woman, which I watched, then deleted. He sent a bunch of pictures the next day, which I didn't open. Deleted them. I said something to the guy, mainly that it was a lot, and he apologized saying he'd not send anymore. I felt guilty and angry, at myself and the situation.
He then sent a decent, inspirational video, which touched me. I thanked him for it on Whatsapp, and returned one I found on IG. I'd never commented when he sent the nude video and pictures.
My problem socially is I'm ashamed of this. I've been divorced 4 years now, and haven't dated anyone. I do think relationships are more than sex, but maybe 1 in 100 men will talk about that. I have drives, we all do..........trying to defend now, "make up a good point"..........
Something in my past feels shameful. I've not walked into it yet.
This morning I read some AM6 journals, and many talk about an active sex life. My history with women is scarce since my thinking on sex has primarily been.....discomfort.
I'm writing to find something now. One peer coworker sent me a nude video on Whatsapp of one woman, which I watched, then deleted. He sent a bunch of pictures the next day, which I didn't open. Deleted them. I said something to the guy, mainly that it was a lot, and he apologized saying he'd not send anymore. I felt guilty and angry, at myself and the situation.
He then sent a decent, inspirational video, which touched me. I thanked him for it on Whatsapp, and returned one I found on IG. I'd never commented when he sent the nude video and pictures.
My problem socially is I'm ashamed of this. I've been divorced 4 years now, and haven't dated anyone. I do think relationships are more than sex, but maybe 1 in 100 men will talk about that. I have drives, we all do..........trying to defend now, "make up a good point"..........
Something in my past feels shameful. I've not walked into it yet.
I want to be FREE!
