(08-16-2018, 06:10 PM)Darkness Wrote:(08-16-2018, 03:47 PM)MasterEnki Wrote:(08-16-2018, 06:14 AM)Darkness Wrote: @Have at ye
Another is the he is that nice. And unfortunately subconsciously women perceive it as weakness. Hence when you care too much, show too much emotion. She assumes you’re a bitch. If you ignore her to the extent of extinction. She respects you because she’s like “oh, he HAS backbone, cute”
On her end it could be self esteem issues or worse, he needs to what he isn’t: more abusive.
Unfortunately very few women actually like honesty/sincerity. Or else we wouldn’t need these subs change or suppress certain traits in us.
We’ve all been ourselves prior to subs, who could we pretend to be. Flaws and all. That’s probably why he asked why she’s heading for anywhere but with him.
My experience has been that when I ignore women, they ignore me back.
When I’m nice to women, they generally act friendlier towards me, and start conversations with me.
Also, I have reached ‘first base’ (them kissing me) with 4 different women, all of whom I was nice and friendly towards before they kissed me. They all made the move on me. They all knew me for several months / years beforehand. But no sex though.
Three of them seem to have lost interest (are with someone else - I personally know their new boyfriends). And one says she wants to sleep with me, but can’t due to crappy circumstances. I’m keeping in contact with all of them as ‘just friends’ because circumstances change over time and you never know, and maybe I will meet someone new through them.
I think different people have different experiences, and what works for one person, doesn’t work for someone else.
Edit: My friend (who has slept with quite a few women) suggested that hanging with women as ‘just friends’ is good, since it is ‘social proof’.
Also, changed a few words to make it clearer and easier to read. Added a paragraph.
I used to be nice now I’m more distant. You I have to say have been lucky not to have to deal with shitty behavior from them while you were being social and well mannered. I ignore girls if I’m friendly and chill to them and they start to blank like I’ve said nothing or insult me without cause.
I’ve had this instant happen a couple times, out of the blue. Yet guys they like who play games and are fake af, even he puts through hell she’ll not only stay but smile as well. And even clutch to that type of slimy dude harder and even respect him.
The dude isn’t even remotely like that will get kicked to the curb, he’s gonna have suck it up.
So yeah as much as I don’t like it. I’m really skeptical and a little abusive to them. Having a Even little more respect and consideration than she has for herself is not good.
You’re friend is right. Though I’ll that if she’s a friend that you both have chemistry because it’s funnest that way. And not the motivation for social proof for social proof sake, it’s actually genuine that way and not fake. Plus female friends with real genuine chemistry is rare and really more enjoyable for me than dude friends, for me.
Most my life I was ‘never been kissed’ until just over a year ago. These ‘first base’ action (hugging / kissing) were mostly one-off events.
A = I used to work with her back in 2011. She was at a recent Christmas party that I attended. She walked straight up to me and started kissing me, and pulled me into her. But afterwards she just wanted to be ‘just friends’ (maybe she got too drunk?)
D = I have known since 2008. Recently, in November, I was invited to a dance / mosh pit kind of thing. She was there and asked me to dance with her, and when I was dancing with her, she started grinding on me, and hugged / kissed a bit. A few weeks later she saw me having lunch with M (aka 37yo woman), and D hugged me and talked for a few minutes and then left. Next time I saw her she had a boyfriend (who seems like a pretty cool dude).
J = I have known since 2007. One day, recently, I was sitting by myself having lunch (at my favourite cafe), and she saw me and came over to say hello, and unexpectedly grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into her and kissed me. She sat with me for a bit and but her arm around me and kissed me again, saying that she had to go back to work (we both work near the cafe, at different jobs). Next time I saw her at the same cafe, I was having lunch with M (37yo woman). Recently, I’ve seen J with another guy (the same guy) on a few occasions.
M = I met in 2016, at my favourite cafe. She pointed at me and said “Lunch”. I had lunch with her. A few weeks later I saw her again at the same cafe, and she said “Lunch” again. After having lunch a few times, she started running up and hugging me, before sitting down for lunch. October 2017, she pointed at me and her, and said “swimming”, and I said okay. We went swimming and enjoyed it. A month later, she had dinner with me, and invited me back to her place, were I saw her naked in her room, and before anything could happen, her carer stopped things and dropped the banhammer on me (banned me from visiting her). M has brain damage (and that prevents any sexual relationship from happening). She still occasionally says “bed together”, “sleepover” and similar things. We can only be ‘just friends’. We still have lunch and enjoy the companionship. I enjoy seeing her, and plan to regularly have lunch with her as ‘just friends’ (at least, until I meet a woman who will be my FWB or sexual lover - which will likely take up my time).
3 of the 4 are minor friends at the moment (A, D, J), and the other one is a main friend (the one who said she wanted to sleep with me [M, aka 37yo woman] But I don’t think that will happen since the circumstances are quite complicated).
A or D, I will have lunch with once every 1-2 months.
J, I tend to run into her once every few weeks, since she likes the same cafe that I go to regularly.
M, I see once a week at public location(s) for lunch (mostly my favourite cafe).
I find it frustrating that I still haven’t lost my virginity. But I’m really happy to have made progress, and I reckon I’m half way there now (compared to 0% a couple of years ago).
I’ve witnessed heaps of women with douchebags. The whole ‘badboy’ trope seems pretty accurate for a lot of women.
I also know that SOME women are more open to nice / kindhearted guys.
It seems reasonable that only women with high self-esteem, self-worth, self-respect, etc. will consider nice / kindhearted guys.
My male friend (who is good with women) gave me a few pointers on getting a FWB. According to him:
- Focus on friendship, and let things happen naturally.
- Guys that are seen in public with women = he must be safe to be around, trustworthy, non-creepy, etc. (in female strangers minds)
- Going out just to meet women is a great way to stay sexless (he told me that he met his FWBs while fishing, surfing and enjoying nature).
- If she approaches you, offer her {EDITED by Shannon to comply with rules about not advocating doing things that are illegal on the forum}.
- Good vibes attract good tribes
- Always carry a couple of good condoms
I have noticed that when I think about sex, women avoid me. And when I am absent-minded, or off in my own little world, women tend to be much more open to me.
Edit: In case anyone is wondering,
A = 39 yo
D = 45
J = 31
M = 37
It seems women my age (30) and younger avoid me like the plague!
