08-10-2018, 05:03 PM
I had a clear and simple awareness today from E2. (Did 12 hours last night and 2 hours at work today, all US)
I realized I didn't love myself, and I'm working around men, sending this needy signal hoping someone would love me. This made complete sense since my only regular imputs are all male. In the midst of recent insecurity about my sexuality and these men, this helps BIGTIME. I knew I wasn't gay, but I've needed love and affirmation. And I've felt really vulnerable on E2 this time. It's going deeper (quicker) than it ever did before.
And listening and talking with the front secretary today for 15 minutes, a middle aged woman, relaxed me too. No flirting, just seeking quiet confirmation that I was still easy to talk to. I felt "scary" yesterday, and our conversation today had no strings attached. This caused a number of subtle and not subtle rejections yesterday by men and women, her included.
This realization came together shortly after getting home and turning my speakers up just 5%. I'd been in my bathroom last night with my phone, and turned on Frequensee. It barely registered the US frequency (only 10 feet away), so I upped my PC speaker volume in my room. I don't want to miss exposure when I'm running it.
I don't feel deserving of love presently, but E2 has scripting allowing me to love myself, plus a deservedness training for self healing and regenerating. E2 is good, really good
Thank you thank you thank you!
I realized I didn't love myself, and I'm working around men, sending this needy signal hoping someone would love me. This made complete sense since my only regular imputs are all male. In the midst of recent insecurity about my sexuality and these men, this helps BIGTIME. I knew I wasn't gay, but I've needed love and affirmation. And I've felt really vulnerable on E2 this time. It's going deeper (quicker) than it ever did before.
And listening and talking with the front secretary today for 15 minutes, a middle aged woman, relaxed me too. No flirting, just seeking quiet confirmation that I was still easy to talk to. I felt "scary" yesterday, and our conversation today had no strings attached. This caused a number of subtle and not subtle rejections yesterday by men and women, her included.
This realization came together shortly after getting home and turning my speakers up just 5%. I'd been in my bathroom last night with my phone, and turned on Frequensee. It barely registered the US frequency (only 10 feet away), so I upped my PC speaker volume in my room. I don't want to miss exposure when I'm running it.
I don't feel deserving of love presently, but E2 has scripting allowing me to love myself, plus a deservedness training for self healing and regenerating. E2 is good, really good
Thank you thank you thank you!
I want to be FREE!
